Ambulance virgin and finger fun

I've never been in the back of an ambulance vehicle before. But after Saturday, thoust t'ist no longer an ambulance virgin. Stopped under the bridge on the highway, there sat Stacey in a flat panic, hands starting to cripple and limbs going numb, not forgetting the lower left crotch pain.

To cut a carrot short (aka in a nutshell) I was rushed to hospital.

Why is it that you are most unprepared when a gyny or doctor as to inspect your vag?

Male doctor: "I am going to have to look into your vagina to see if something is wrong."

Horrified Stacey: "ummm... excuse me. NO!"

Male doctor: "We have to."
Mored horrified Stacey: "No. Umm... you won't be looking at it - GET ME A FEMALE DOCTOR!"

I haven't shaved since the wedding and my bush is unkept to say the least. It's also been a long day.... (who knows what sweat has collected there.)

This is my nightmare materialising.
I quickly run, carrying the drip and all, to the bathroom for a freshening up.
Then it's back to the bed and time to spread them wide. C.R.I.N.G.E. Then she has a bit of the finger fun and has a good feel (I prefer a touch, then a stare to be honest... rather touch my fanny, then look deep into it)

HOW EMBARRASING!
Then after numerous scans etc, and about R12 000 later I have a severe bladder infection. I'm on a hospital plan - which doesn't cover it as I was not admitted. Fuck. Stupid hospital plan wankers.

Time to be a'changing to medical aid, where they can exploit me even more and steal all my money.

Oh well, at the end of it all - I am on the mend and have forgotten the embarrasing incident - although I am sure the image of my hairy bush is still affecting that female doctor.

Death by dust

This is what happens when I drive on the dirt road. Although, I have a kia picanto and get fucked up by the billowing smoke that these big cars and fast drivers leave behind when passing me. ... Did I ask for a McDonald dust meal whilst driving?

Living on a farm, I drive everyday on a dirt road. It's starting to really piss me off.

You should see my dash board - well it's so laden with dust you can't even see it. My car is like an incubator for dust. Driving now is like being force fed dust. My teeth become covered in the stuff and to swallow feels like I am licking chalk.
With Winter just about here, the dust is really bad. It's in my nose and my lungs are so badly congested. It's like the world has turned to brown and I'm swamped in dust. All I see is damn dust! Winter is causing death by dust.

So, tonight it's a herbal bath with aromatheraphy oils to try and cleanse the nasal passage ways. Then I'll place my head under steam and inhale the moist air. Then it's a healthy salad to cleanse the inside.

From now on, I'm driving with one of those masks around my mouth - do as the Chinese do!

Can you say MRS?

I'm married. I am a wife.

My wedding was a fairy tale... I wish it could be my wedding every day.

I'm in this state of euphoric; this happiness and I don't want to be brought down to earth, or reality yet. I want to float on cloud 9 forever.

I am so happy to call Chris my husband.

I am now a MRS! Mrs Woensdregt.

12h00-12th May-2012: my fairy tale.

And let the demons come out...

It was Chris's bachelor party. And yet again - alcohol proved itself as the medium to allow the demons to come out.
I got drunk - missing Chris meant I needed to drink.
He got drunk - being HIS bachelor party meant he was 'forced' tots and copious amounts of booze from the guys.
Both our demons came out.

I'm quitting drinking. I hate the demons when they come out.

Some of the many demons I have noticed are:

Bad verbal diarrhea: One can say the most horrible things to your partner when drunk. Like a sword in the heart.
Verbal forgettness: Talking shit to people and not remembering what you spoke about. Or, speaking about personal issues that you'll regret mentioning in the morning.

Dancing sexy and in a flirtous way (not that you're wanting to hook up) - more in a 'if guys look at me, then I'm still attractive; flattery sort of way'
All females do this. But I noticed I did and had a big conversation with Chris about it. You don't realise when you're drunk how much of a prostitute you look like. I mean I'm getting married for crap sake. I will never ever do this again. Although my intentions are pure and I'm dedicated to Chris for life, I didn't realise my waist movements would hurt him. So now it's just back to sexy dancing for Chris in the bedroom.

All men become the hulk. "Look at me, I can fuck up anyone. I am mean and aggressive. Let me rip off my clothes and show you my muscles. Let me rip off my pants and show you how big my penis is." The hulk demon is always present in men when they drink. But it's also present in Stacey when she drinks. I become this AGRO scary bitch - I get embarrased by this demon.

So it's not only the hangover that makes me want to stop drinking - it's also the accompaning demons.
Booze is like demons in a can - just with a flick on the lid, we let the demons come out!

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