Traffic jammin'

Having started working in the city, a 50 minute drive from the quiet farm life where I live, I now wake up every morning at 4.30 to leave by 5am, to get to work at 6am.
God forbid I leave 15 minutes later, or even 5 minutes later. That's the thing about traffic in Johannesburg - the city of smog, impatient drivers and ugly scenery - it depends on time. Being 10 minutes late will set you back about an hour. Being 5 minutes early will bring you forward 30 minutes. Just those few little seconds, those few itty bitty minutes will dictate how you're going to spend your morning - whether breezing through the roads, or stuck in traffic.
On the odd occasions when I tell my alarm clark to fuck off and sleep in for those extra little 5 minutes (even 5min does a world of good!) I wind up cemented in bumper to bumper traffic, burning the clutch of my car and having my morning dose of getting high on petrol fumes (no wonder I'm such a happy morning person.)

Now when in this situation, what does one do to entertain oneself? Yes, having a CD player helps, or a radio, as you can sing to your heart's desire whilst the person in the front car is laughing his head off at you whilst peering through his review mirror. But sadly my radio is not working (a fuse blew) so there'll be no singing loudly, nor anymore laughing at me. I have suffered the no-radio-problem for months now so I'm using this blog as a brainstorm for ways to keep entertained whilst stuck in traffic.

One could smoke. It's amazing how many smokes you can cram into an hours driving session. Let's play the game of "HOT BOX THE CAR!" Two, get acquainted with the GPS. I'm sure everyone loves the sexy accent of the female who talks on the device and who can't say the street names properly. No wait, actually let's laugh at the GPS. The third way to keep amused is to try new routes to work and get lost in the many dead ends you encounter. Although you wasting time, and petrol, at least you'll be using the time in a busy manner in stead of sitting for the same time on the same route. Four, the sms marathon where we catch up on sms's, phone calls and communication. I know it's illegal to use your phone when driving - but squeezed between two trucks going no where can't be considered driving.

I've got to get used to this traffic, and these fucken early mornings. Hopefully it doesn't kill me. But if I leave early enough and beat it, then I can watch the sun rise and there's no need for entertainment.

New, new, new!

So not only am I moving house at the end of the month, but I am also starting a new job on Wednesday! So looking forward to hours of traffic to and from the office, very early mornings struggling to get out bed (esp with it almost being Winter), clogging my face with make up every morning and having no freedom. Nah.... I won't be sitting in traffic as I negiotiated the times with my future boss; I will be able to get out of bed as I'll have a purpose in life; every day I will feel pride in myself that I look nice for once instead of being in no-one-should-see-me-clothes everyday and instead of freedom I'll have security and stability (and who actually says that self employment is freedom... it's more like being chained with stress and worry.) Yes, I have made the right decision. I can't wait until the end of the month when I can rest assured that money is coming in. Self employment is not for the weak - it's damn fucking hard. I don't regret these last few months of trying to make it work as I was tested and learnt a great deal, nor am I giving up on myself - I am just starting on a new venture. Being self employed, I would look for ANY type of avenue that would create business and money and I would discount my services so that at least ANY type of money would come in. Now I can solely be focused on my full time job (which by the way is at the TOP of the list when it comes to media companies) and my events business. This brings with it focus and clarity. I will also no longer suffer from social isolation as self employment is a lonely place. I can chirp and chirp to my heart's content at the office, meet new people and use up my 5000 words for the day. Eventually I'll go back to self-employment and do it again. But for now, I'm moving into a beautiful home and I need a stable job to pay for it. Let the new chapter of my life begin! Amen.

Read the signs

Yes I know the picture is rotated... it's actually quite perfect as that's how I see my life at the moment. Distorted, but you can still what's going on.

So here I am sitting at the mechanics on a miserable blue Monday. I was on my way to a face painting job (which I will now have to refund the client 600 bucks for as I won't be able to make it) and my car was making this horrible noise. So there's positive Stacey thinking that it's just rocks stuck in the brakes caused from driving on a farm... but wait, she's just about to be hit across the head with a R1500.00 bill, or should I say bat. Yes, my brakes and discs need to be changed and the mechanic says it's not safe to drive all the way to JHB. So with no money in my bank I tell the dude to change it and I'll make a plan.

So here I am wollowing in my own sorrow, my own depression, watching the cars come to fill up and get high on their fumes, whilst I start to get piles sitting on this hard floor. It's been a tough couple of months, and now with us moving (that'll have to wait for another blog) I am trying to work as hard as I can to get as much money in. But yes, life always seems to knock us when we down...

But hey, on my 'petrol caused high' I start to think. And wait. And breath. I call this friend who I do work for and ask for my money so I can pay this mechanic. Then shortly after she pays me,she sends me a message asking if I'd want to do sales for her. POSITIVE SIGN NUMBER ONE. If my car wasn't making a noise and I had not of come to the mechanic and needed money, then I wouldn't have phoned or and she wouldn't have offered me the work-from-home-job. Then straight after this petrol attendent passes by with a name tag 'lucky'. POSITIVE SIGN NUMBER TWO.

In our states of misery, when we're at our lowest, there are always signs from the Universe that things are working out as they should. All in their own parts, all working together discretely but obvious if you look properly. It's in our lowest that we really look at life through spiritual eyes and look for the signs from God saying "I'm still here."

So from a 'blue' monday, it goes into a 'true' Monday - I see life in it's truest form. From sadness to hope. From depression to faith. From emotional to calm.