Another lesson learnt: Money habits follow you from childhood

I had another vent. And thereafter, another brain fart.

Is your relationship with money as an adult created by the relationship you had with money as a child? And if so, if this relationship was bad both in adulthood and in childhood, how do you break up with the son of a bitch and turn it into a beneficial, blossoming one?

Money growing up was always on an allowance basis. As a teenager, my family had money, but as kids, we were given a monthly allowance and told to learn how to manage money. A great tool done by any parent, but looking back now, the only lesson I seem to have learnt with regards to money is that I had none. To this day, bordering on 30 – the age you think you’ll finally have your shit together – who would have guessed that I'm still struggling and still flat broke? Funny that considering I work my ass off at a million and one jobs and still find myself living hand to mouth.

I can’t help but wonder if this is my childhood repeating itself on me like bad breathe in the morning? I’m so sick of this struggle, just as much as wearing second-hand clothes or the same T-shirt year after year, just the same as my childhood when my allowance wouldn’t allow me to buy anything new as a child.

Have I grown up to subconsciously believe that I am not deserving of money? That it is completely normal to be broke and have to fight tooth and nail for one rand? Through my childhood, did I subconsciously create a block in my life stopping me from getting money? Quite perplexing 'ey?

Quite frankly am so done with struggling. I am done not having enough money to pay for bills, watching them so easily fall into arrears. I am done not being able to buy clothes or make up and walking around like I walked out of a charity clothes shop. I am so done with counting coins and getting stuck on the side of the road with no petrol in my car. I am so sick and tired of not enjoying the leisure pleasures of life. Not being on a honeymoon, not being able to do my nails or hair, not being able to go out and spend a little on destressing activities. When it comes to money, I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Today on 23 May I break up with the bad relationship I have with money. I break the cords of my childhood and monetary habits and now believe that I am worth all the abundance in the world. I deserve money and all that goes with it. I will no longer just survive, but thrive. I let go of all the bad associations and preconceived notions I have created in my childhood about money and so lived with as an adult for the past few years.

Tomorrow is a new money-filled day, let the money flow in baby. Lesson learnt. Awareness noted.

The struggle is real. So many people I know are feeling the money crunch. Life is hard. But I no longer choose to be a victim but to come out victorious. I will win the battle of the wallet.

When you realise how lessons follow you from childhood and that everything links together, it's quiet mind-blowing. I am appreciative of realising just how my habits of today, are the repercussions of those created 'yesterday'.

Why wait Sam, do it now

We all live different lives, with some of us living so uniquely and so out the box that writing about it just has to be mandatory.
However, when these unique lives are so enjoyable different, those living it are all about the living than having time to write about it and jot down life experiences.

However, to me, I find it so important to relay these stories.. to tell the tales for those truly living how humans should live. Those living a life on the complete opposite spectrum to what is considered 'normal'.

Case in point, my dearest friend Sam.

She lives a life controversial to some, but admired by so many others. After speaking with her now (and yes she has a cellphone and reception even in the outdoors she calls home) I informed her not to waste time to tell her tale. Not to put a start date or create a heavy load with all her experiences from which to start writing, but to address this telling of her tale in small bites, here and now. If not now, than when?

I offered to write something on her (for her)... to give her a small taste of what it would be like for her if she'd take two minutes from her extra-ordindary daily life to inspire everyone else by reading about her journey.

So here's your first words of encouragement Sam... I've spent a few minutes writing about you. I took one photo and made it online for the world to see. Think of the moment, think in the now. Post in the now. Talk in the now. You have something amazing... so tell others about it. If you won't, I will.

In short, and not taking anything from just how amazing this truly this, Sam lives in a very small town in Greyton, where the community is small; electricity is non-existent; trading and bartering for daily goods and living necessities is the name of the game; everyone becomes their own farmer; living is simple; organic food is consumed constantly; nature is golden and living without money is hard, but certainly possible.

When your parents told you that the normal 9-5 job and bill-orientated life of adulthood is the only thing destined for you, Sam is proving this wrong. When those who said money is everything and if you're not surrounded by all that glitters, then you're not living, Sam is proving them wrong. For all those deeply embedded in human nature and old societal programming who believe that unhappiness is found in the jobless, the hippie life or a life in small towns and nature-filled areas, Sam is showing that happiness does truly exist, even more so, in a life that is anything but conventional.

As in that movie Wanderlust, I feel it's so important for everyone to experience some time, or some part of their lives, in those small communities where they grow their own vegetables, dine in candle light and aren't ordered by alarm clocks. What an experience to be hold... well... it's definitely on my bucket list.

As seen in Sam's picture, a world where technology and nature can exist to create something much better than that which we are set to believe in from childhood. She's also got nature on her side and organic fruit to munch on. Bliss.

I can just imagine the life lessons she is learning. I can just imagine how her mind is focused on the now. How human stresses are not regularly interrupting her beautiful experiences of what life should truly be about. I don't know the finer details or how exactly it is in Sam's world, but in two minutes of speaking with her, it's encouraged me to encourage you all to take a look at your life and to, some time in future, be enthusiastic enough to try live a life you never expected or one you thought was not possible. It is possible. It's not all butterflies and candyfloss I'm sure, but there is so much to life and surely it provides a better solution to the mundane life of working your lives away to pay bills.. following along like sheep to the grave.

*Samantha Cartwright is a reiki practitioner, among other spiritual gifts she offers. Her life is a story of lessons learnt and messages of spiritual awareness. For more information on who she is and what she does, or to contact her for healing, visit http://www.serendipity-sun.com/?page_id=144

Keep inspiring Sam (and possibly... I'll keep writing for you)
And to everyone reading this... remember it's possible. Live outside the box. Be inspired. Happiness is out there in its own rare forms other than where most of society thinks it is. Many paths... choose the rocky one.

*Comment below on the unique life you live and share your tale. Or comment below if you would like me to write more stories on Sam and hear more about her life and the spiritual lessons which go with it.

Cleaning tips from the non-professional

Hello readers,

How great it is to be getting back into my blogging. The same can be said for my cleaning. Let's just hope both lasts longer than the blink of an eye or a moment of passing gas.

Yes, it's the first of January and one would expect the common spring clean to take place, but for me (one who would rather stick hot coals in her eye balls than clean), this cleaning mania is not from year-end hussle but from a proactive choice.

After going away for a few days, with the dogs now learning the "scary" life of the outdoor wilderness (aka the back garden) during the day and night (a big step for us all), the dogs are now outside which means the house can be cleaner for longer. I also came back from holiday knowing the geysers and plumbing of the house were going to be fixed, which meant that if I cleaned, I could finally live in an at-least functional house. I wanted to clean, to change the energy of the house, the layout and get everything sorted. To focus on the now and make our living space the best it could be. (PS - we moved in two years ago and were not aware of the full extent of the damages/condition of the house.)

So even from the onset of arriving after a 6-hour journey from Durban, we started cleaning right away. It is now a few days later and we're still going at it. And on my journey to breaking my back and turning the skin of my hands into leather shoes from all the detergents used, I have gained a few tips to help you in your cleaning journey where you start at one end and never seem to leave that end... at all.... ever. More tips to follow as we get deeper into the journey of elbow grease and shiny surfaces.
So on your break between picking up dog shit and washing the Pronutro-encrusted bowl left by the kiddies, have a read and a laugh.

Tip 1: Don't start cleaning. Just don't. Simple. The more you clean the more you realise just how much more there is to go. Sometimes cleaning is surface level, other times it's like a car engine. You think there is one problem but upon further inspection, you find 10 more. So if you're not willing to open that can of worms, don't even start. Be prepared to clean and then realise there is more than meets the germ-seeking eye. Be prepared to dance, like the cha-cha... one step forward and two steps back.
Tip 2: Do not have black curtains in your bedroom or pretty much any room. This is not a strict rule but but black curtains keep in the energy, the staleness and stop energy flow. Keep it light and fresh.

Tip 3: Take breaks, smoke a shit load. Be inspired in these breaks. Don't just clean to clean, but clean to be creative. Try different objects in different places, different room layouts, different decor options, different uses for different things. Clean and be creative all in one big ball of "holy fuck, cleaning is actually quite fun".

Tip 4: Don't be hard on yourself. You'll be happy to know there are others who live further in the pig shit than you.
Tip 5: Do room by room or area by area. Start and finish something so you can see the change/transformation. You need gratification when cleaning and to feel like you have accomplished something. This little bit here and little bit there is like wearing a pair of pants with a hole in both the groin area and the buttock area. It doesn't work and leaves you feel incomplete.
Tip 6: Cleaning and maintaining a clean space and having dogs goes well together in the same way that ice loves the desert. If you're like me and the pups are your babies, remember that you can love them but you can also have routine. Reduce the stress of waking up to wee's and poo's on the floor or constant cleaning with the dogs sleeping inside. Set a routine and boundaries, have the pups outside, as hard as it may be. It's healthier for everyone.
Tip 7: Be a beggar sometimes. When cleaning and trying to make your house better, don't feel bad for asking others if they have any leftover paint, frames, wood, whatever. If they do, then great. If they don't, that's also fine. You'll be surprised how much money you save by just asking. And asking doesn't make you cheap, it makes you proactive.
Tip 8: The bath can be very handy with large sums of dishes when you're facing a tiny sink. After a big meal or catering (weird as it may sound), chuck all the dishes in one hot bath. They soak, rinse and wash so fast and it saves you constant counter space making and rerunning of water.
Tip 9: Washing floors on your knees (the typical South African way) far beats using a mop. Just saying. Moving around with dirt, hot water from the kettle (great for removing floors stains) and germs on your knees is fun. Who needs a spa mud treatment when this is free?
Tip 10: Don't fear empty spaces. If your house is a weird and enlarged space like mine and you're left with large spaces of nothing, don't worry. Face the emptiness and move on. There is a place for everything and everything in its place and there's no need to fill space with crap and fluffy teddy bears and broken hand-me-downs just because. Sometimes simple and decluttered is better. Try out different objects/furniture in different rooms and see what fits and sadly if the rest of the house is now cozy but there's a large empty space, it's okay. Rather get most spaces proportionally filled than scatter everything around.
Tip 11: Keep going. Rome was not built in a day and with dogs in and out, full-time work and having no domestic worker, it will take you a while. But little bit by little bit and if you start to become consumed, that's great. It's a process. No ... Aladdin and the genie is a movie and we cannot blink and wish for a clean house. So start and take it in your stride. If I can clean and last this long in a house that could have put me in a mental hospital by now, anyone can do it.

Back to cleaning I go....

Let me know your cleaning tips and stories by commenting below.