I had another vent. And thereafter, another brain fart.
Is your relationship with money as an adult created by the relationship you had with money as a child? And if so, if this relationship was bad both in adulthood and in childhood, how do you break up with the son of a bitch and turn it into a beneficial, blossoming one?
Money growing up was always on an allowance basis. As a teenager, my family had money, but as kids, we were given a monthly allowance and told to learn how to manage money. A great tool done by any parent, but looking back now, the only lesson I seem to have learnt with regards to money is that I had none. To this day, bordering on 30 – the age you think you’ll finally have your shit together – who would have guessed that I'm still struggling and still flat broke? Funny that considering I work my ass off at a million and one jobs and still find myself living hand to mouth.
I can’t help but wonder if this is my childhood repeating itself on me like bad breathe in the morning? I’m so sick of this struggle, just as much as wearing second-hand clothes or the same T-shirt year after year, just the same as my childhood when my allowance wouldn’t allow me to buy anything new as a child.
Have I grown up to subconsciously believe that I am not deserving of money? That it is completely normal to be broke and have to fight tooth and nail for one rand? Through my childhood, did I subconsciously create a block in my life stopping me from getting money? Quite perplexing 'ey?
Quite frankly am so done with struggling. I am done not having enough money to pay for bills, watching them so easily fall into arrears. I am done not being able to buy clothes or make up and walking around like I walked out of a charity clothes shop. I am so done with counting coins and getting stuck on the side of the road with no petrol in my car. I am so sick and tired of not enjoying the leisure pleasures of life. Not being on a honeymoon, not being able to do my nails or hair, not being able to go out and spend a little on destressing activities. When it comes to money, I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Today on 23 May I break up with the bad relationship I have with money. I break the cords of my childhood and monetary habits and now believe that I am worth all the abundance in the world. I deserve money and all that goes with it. I will no longer just survive, but thrive. I let go of all the bad associations and preconceived notions I have created in my childhood about money and so lived with as an adult for the past few years.
Tomorrow is a new money-filled day, let the money flow in baby. Lesson learnt. Awareness noted.
The struggle is real. So many people I know are feeling the money crunch. Life is hard. But I no longer choose to be a victim but to come out victorious. I will win the battle of the wallet.
When you realise how lessons follow you from childhood and that everything links together, it's quiet mind-blowing. I am appreciative of realising just how my habits of today, are the repercussions of those created 'yesterday'.
