Maturity in change of thoughts (Be money wise, not festive stupid)

As I look back on the year that was, so many thoughts, so many changes, so much additional growing up. And this is not the ego thinking you're mature and wiser than all, or thinking that you've changed and got your old girl panties on when you're still sporting nappies, it's just the simple realisation of how one's change of thought really reveals growth and maturity.

How you can think one thing, sweat blood and tears to defend it, and then further down the "awareness" line you start thinking, saying, believing the complete opposite. Oh shit, you have unintentionally swapped debating sides - but hey, it feels good.

Sometimes, when you think something, step back and review this thought you actually are taken aback with how your new thought is a complete 360 of the old thought. A reversal of mature proportions. This happens in the learning school of life. And its something to look observe, pat yourself on the back and move forward feeling good.

Case in point... growing up in my early twenties, money flew out the door and debt was raised with every passing Christmas - I was not overly stupid but I was not wise.

But as I started maturing and paying off debt - with my mindset firmly fixed on "live like a pauper so you can finally breathe with no debt strangling you to death" things were different this year (2015). Yes, the festive season is not over but already I can pat myself on the back and be proud of my new thoughts and actions this holiday season - where santa is a robber in disguise.

If you've already have been paid and are looking at January like it's a desert, don't be too hard on yourself, just take my advice and next year act the exact opposite - be money wise, not festive stupid. If you've hitched a ride on the "Save money, enjoy Christmas on the cheapo side" then well done, join the club, and pour yourself a glass of water! Well not to that extreme if you know what I mean, I'm not saying instead of a turkey you have to eat maggi noodles and enjoy the holidays like those on the TV show Extreme Cheapskates. But you have been rational and future minded so well done. It's tough to be cautious and to hold back, but in January, you'll see... we'll be laughing.

This year I vowed to not go on credit for any gifts. I vowed to make my money last so that I would not have to humble (and embarrass) myself to ask to borrow money from family members. I vowed to focus on experience rather than purchases. I vowed to go through the festive money wise and not have to go through January stressing my labia off when not even a crust of bread was affordable. This year would be different and it was (so far) and for that I am so grateful and proud. I managed to pay bills, get to durban for a quick get away, come home with money and still have money for January.

Some tips I have learnt regarding money and the festive season:

1. Pay all your bills first (everyone says this, but do it.)
2. Be prepared to put SOME money aside for you, even if it means paying one or two bills slightly lower. You NEED THIS! When you have money (even though it's a little) you're not in the mind frame of no money. Think money, receive money. Think no money and all you get is desperation. The law of attraction. It also relates to doing extra jobs to get through the holidays. Think small and you'll end up working your butt off for nix to nothing. Think big and do big jobs that are worth your time and effort.
3. Spend what you can on presents and don't feel bad if they are not worth a million rand or less than what another person buys you. You come first and there is no need to go into debt when you buy something for thought, not for showing off.
4. Allow others to buy, make dinner or offer things. I always, always, used to buy others things and offer food this year. This year I removed my stubborness and took in the graciousness in which things were given. And no, this doesn't mean ask or sponge off others.
5. Sleep more. We have such hectic years. Use the holiday to sleep, rest. You can't be spending money when you're sleeping. So catch up on those hours lost instead of constantly keeping yourself busy and emptying your wallet.
6. If you have many jobs or are waiting for people to pay you.... as hard as it may be, ask some of them to pay you end of Dec or beginning of Jan. This means you won't spend it and will make do with what you have, knowing calmly that you still have money coming in.

So this Christmas wasn't a penny crusher for me. I've enjoyed myself, I've purchased gifts with heart and I'm not terrified of January. Cheers to me and being money wise, a mind frame I shall use throughout my life moving forward. Yes, I could have had 2 minutes of pleasure eating an overpriced icecream, but the feeling of making it through by myself is worth that much more! May we all find ways to get through January. 2016 will not be a year of debt, but building savings.
First Christmas survived and succeeded as the new rational me
- Santa, go F yourself.

Give it a name because you fear it

Life is hard for everyone at the moment. All around me I see people depressed, unhappy and 'bipolar'. I put 'bipolar' into inverted commas because ... well you'll see just now. They say the outer is the inner, but in this case specifically these people are just confirming how happy I am.

I have not written a blog in a while. I have so much to talk about, have experienced so much growth, but I'm in such a space of truth that whatever I say will be truth - in-your-face truth. Some may think I'm going mad, others won't understand it or argue it. But I thought I'd write tonight for those that will relate. So, let the truth be told. I've stood in my own truth for so long, now it's time to share it.

Instead of going into detail, let's make this short and sweet. A lot of shit has gone down lately... enough for anyone to go jumping off a cliff or singing happily at the top of their voices with joy. A rollercoaster if you will. But overall, despite bad things happening, I've maintained this overall positivity. Some may call it hyper 'bipolar', others have called it manic, or forced. I was called hyper 'bipolar' recently, as well as manic positive - neither one correct, neither one having anything to do with me. Let me explain. But before I do, it erked me when they called me this. It made me question myself. And there is nothing worse when you know yourself and question it. But hey, this questioning made me write this blog and realise a few things.

When anyone is too down or too happy, humans naturally look at this as abnormal. It makes them uncomfortable. This constant willingness to see the positive in everything, to constantly feel this vibration of happiness is so out of their own realm that they want to put a name on it and place in the corner. Touched by no one - keeping it a secret. It's like humans have been indoctrinated to feel down, to feel unhappy and it's if being happy is going to be bad. Like a flu virus. This positive energy is going to touch others, and in society this is wrong. I'm not talking about being chucky cheese and having a constant unnatural smile on your face 24.7. I do have down moments, but not those that will place me in the 'bipolar' category. That's normal but overall I am positive. I am a happy spiritual being. That's why people look at me and think I am forcing it. That I'm making it unnatural. No, actually.... it's unnatural for YOU to be unhappy and down. Can't you see the truth? Who is to say your way is right? How can my positive way be wrong?

Bringing this back to the point, mankind has placed labels on things. Being positive is not hyper 'bipolar'. Shocker - this illness does not exist. It only exists only in this man-made name. We as humans are supposed to be happy and positive constantly. As souls, we're supposed to float in this positive vibrant energy. But humans and society have claimed otherwise. So before you take me to a doctor, make me swallow pills that will make me numb.... have a think about us as humans, our beliefs systems, what we were taught. And before you wait to watch me hit my low after my high, slice a knife across my wrist and cry.... please know you'll be wasting your time. Once you're in this new realm, this new shift you can see emotions for what they are and embrace them.... one smile at a time

And remember that we're all mirrors. So if you see someone who is happy and it annoys you, ask yourself... why are you not as happy? What is irritating me about them being happy? If you try and be a doctor and medically diagnose someone, remember that you're just seeing yourself and you're trying to reflect your own 'illness' on them. Misery loves company.

Before I end this, please note that if you've been diagnosed with bipolar or any other relatable illness for chemical/body reasons, I agree to that. Then it's not an emotional/mental based 'illness' but a chemical one which medication can find a balance.

So be happy. It's the only option and may you spread this happiness everywhere. WHether you force it in the beginning, or wonder why you've been so happy for so long and when you low will come, or why you look at the positive when a negative hits, don't ask why.... just embrace it.

Tips on renewing your drivers licence in SA

Unlike this picture which showcases a woman smiling after getting her licence renewed.... most South Africans walk out of the licensing department hot, sweaty, irritable and with a very long face. That was me today after I renewed mine. A chore that we all wait for the last minute to do, with sheer dread splashed across our worried faces.

In South Africa, our systems are backwards and you generally have to book an entire day off to renew your driving licence, depending on if you have the right department and documents with you - which no one gives a damn about telling you which ones. If you don't, well that's a whole other story in itself.

In South Africa you can expect hot stuffy rooms filled with bad fuck'en B.O, long-ass queues and only one teller or eye tester working when there are a plethora of stalls available. Don't forget the machines are all broken, people are unfriendly and do not help and every person working there looks like they wish to be somewhere else.

But we all have to venture into this adventure, so here are some tips I picked up on my journey to the dark side of the world.

Although there may be signs to not eat or drink, screw that! If I'm forced to sit in a hot room and lose water through copious amounts of sweat, then I will drink my water and enjoy it too. Hiding a bag of food or crisps in your handbag is also another handy way to avoid starvation. With all the long hours sat there, I am surprised we don't walk out the license department looking like the mummy. I cleverly hid my bag of Doritos in my bag, opened it slowly and allowed the chip-like aromas to fill the room - and wait for the people sitting next to me to peer jealously at me. Oh yes baby. It's time to chew. Remember to chew slowly as to make out that you're only chewing gum. Gum is not a food group and therefore does not qualify.

Take anti-bacterial wipes with you when doing an eye test, so as to wipe the lenses and forehead area of the machine. I swear I've acquired pink eye. My eyes are feeling a lil' bit on the itchy side. Where are the eye drops? Who knows how many stink eyes have seen those lenses, let alone how many sweaty, zitty-fied foreheads have touched that piece above the lenses. Thinking about it gives me nightmares. Hold on... going to wash my face now with the strongest anti-bacterial stuff I can find. Hold on...

...Much better.

Do as the Chinese do and wear a face mask. I think I'm getting the flu now, sneezing and sniffing. Should have worn a damn face mask to protect me from germs. I mean... in these rooms, people basically sit on you. "Hi... here is my lap, please make yourself comfy." And with close spaces like these, it's pretty much guaranteed you'll walk out with something new (and I'm not talking about your drivers licence!) These masks will also help with the smell that lingers in the air, especially when you get a waft of someone's underarm when they fan themselves with their documents. MMM..... Doritos and arm stink... a delicious combo!

But all in all, I managed to survive and renew my licence. Thank goodness it's over... I'd much rather pick up dog shit in a heatwave then suffer through that again. At least you only have to do it once every five years ... and by that time... let's hope SA will be in the technological game then and you can do it online!

Spiritual vs reality: Finding the balance

I have not written a blog for 2015 yet, but hell's bells and Lucifer's balls this is a mighty one to start with.

It's taken me pretty much my whole life and two significant years to be whacked across the face with a life lesson that would inevitably change my whole existence. Powerful stuff 'ey

In nutshell, I've always been a workaholic. I have always looked to the future, worried about life, bills, money and everything realistic in between. Then 2014 happened. And somehow in the months of this unfruitful year I became a 'hippie'. Not in the traditional sense... I did not have dreads, smoke pot or wear multi-coloured robes. (I am not judging those who live this lifestyle so please place ducktape neatly over your mouth before you comment.) What I mean is that I acquired the spiritual way of thinking that these fun-loving people possess.

Let me break it down ... In 2014, I went with the flow of the universe. I denied reality and thought that things would work out. I was living in denial thinking that the plants would feed me and the air would pay my bills. I loved being in this space which I now refer to as 'what the fuck were you thinking!?'

I went from workaholic to freelance writer. Working for myself. One day I finally smelt the burnt coffee and realised that this thinking and this lifestyle was not working for me. It wasn't. I ended up with a shit load of debt, a car that was disfunctional, walking to the shops until my heels bled, and overall in a very unhappy state.

On a journey to get my life in order I got a full time job and a stable income. I started paying off debt. Everything became crystal clear when I spoke to a friend and she spoke words of wisdom. Here's the reality bat, WHAM, BOOF, SMACK! My journey, and every painstaking step became crystal clear. Although her words grinding like cheese on a grater, there was truth. This stuck to my soul like dried Pronutro on a bowl. It forever changed my thinking, the way I saw people and their lifestyles.

I went from being a workaholic to a 'hippie'. I wanted to cram all my dogs in a van and travel the country. Pfft... yea right. It was there that I thought balance was. Wrong. It was only after I returned to work, still thinking in the spiritual way but living in reality, that I realised where balance was. Being a workaholic is one side of the polar express and being a hippie was the other. Either side did not offer balance I so unrealistically thought it did. Yes, the universe (and God) provide you for, yes there is a universal path and we must go with the flow of life, but we also have to eat, live, feed our dogs, take a shit in a toilet which we pay for. When you put your foot in the door and say "Hey, Universe I'm trying here," the universe offers so much more. The rewards are greater because you've found balance.

I am grateful to have crossed the different paths and have travelled the polar express in such an extreme way. I now see both sides of the spectrum. I can understand both the spiritual hippie and the realistic workaholic. Most people will never be able to understand or see eye to eye. It's like putting Santa Claus and the Easter bunny together... they will never find a space of understanding. But I do. I love both sides for what they are, what they have taught me. And as I continue on my path of what I now believe to be balance, I can now look positively into the future with excitement.

May you find your own balance in whatever way it may be. Grow in your spirituality, but remember that we live in a world where money is key and being a responsible being is important. Allow the universe to provide for you, but never just take. Pay it back. As much as I'd love to live on an Island and sit on the beach all day eating bananas, I'm not a monkey. Find the balance and live as a earthling and as a spiritual being. Be a part of all dimensions - balance between living on earth and in the spiritual realm.

So in closing... this was my lesson and I thank everyone and God (Universe) for helping find it. We all have different paths and love everyone for that. No judgments are placed, this is just my own personal opinion for what I have gathered and how I feel about things. But if you find truth or are offended but what I am saying, then maybe the universe is trying to tell you to find balance and if I've taught you a lesson than I am grateful for that.

Till next time monkeys,

Stay lifted, stay balanced