Open for business

After 6 years, I am finally a business owner!

Stace-Face Face Painting is open, well legally that is.

I have been doing my business for the past 6 years and have come to a point where it NEEDS to be legally registered.

(Biting finger nails)

Ready.... push the fear away.... set....breath...go

I have reserved the name and registered the business. And now it is currently being registered for tax.

(Biting finger nails)

Now I am a clever person (wow, that's not too egotistical), but when it comes to legalities or tax or anything that might put you into jail, I'm as ignorant as a hyena's backside. This whole legal things petrifies the living shit out of me.

(Biting finger nails)

I said to the tax guy during the consultation:

"Now, I'm not stupid but you need to explain this whole thing to me starting from A...to Z. Explain it to me as if I were a child, a baby."

Eg: Define "tax"

Shit, I think I need a business book for dummies. I'm great at other business aspects but when it comes to accounts, tax and legal matters I'm a complete novice (and no, I'm not proud of it)

Nevertheless, Stace-Face Face Painting is now a legal entity. I'm proud to call her mine. I have pushed away my fears, worries and lack of knowledge and have bitten the bullet.

Take the bull by the horns... Bugger the bull I say.

Now, all I have to do is get the past 6 years of admin up to date, get me an accounts officer/accountant (and preferably one that doesn't steal my money) and I'll be good to go.

Wow, I finally did it.

I'm scared shitless, but nevertheless going for it!

Freddy

We have a new addition to the family.

Freddy - our eight legged female spider. (Don't know if it is a male or female, but I'll call her a he-she, and think of her as a female). Freddy, a masculine name for a female, is our new child.

She sits in her tank and stares at us... stares at me when I'm naked and getting dressed, or when I'm gafoofaling on the bed with Chris (something a child should never see).

I'm not really fond of spiders, or snakes or anything that you can't pet - but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt (and hey, I think I am getting fond of her now)

The only thing I like about a spider is the bum.. I want to squeeze it. It's like a male's testicle, you want to squeeze it so hard that it pops.

Chris found Freddy (a baboon spider) outside on the balcony. It was love at first site. He had to adopt her and call her his.

She has found a new home.

However, the cage is to remain shut at all times and God forbid I find her one night sleeping next to my face on my pillow. I won't pet her, or kiss her or allow her to roam around the house. Yes, she has a new home but she'll stay in the cage - a metre or so away from me at all times.

Welcome Freddy, may you enjoy your new home and family.

You may have multiple eyes, eight legs and fangs and look nothing like us - but we view you as our own and one of us.

Moussaka

We had Moussake this evening for dinner.

A taste of the Greek.

I'm an aubergine virgin. Never had it. Tonight, I lost my virginity... I tried egg plant for the first time.

As the saying goes Tomato (English) ... Tamatoe (USA) - same thing.

...Moussaka.... Lasagna - same thing.

As illustrated in the picture above, doesn't Moussake look like Lasagna? I mean, they are basically made of the same thing and layered like one another.

Stacey: "Mom, when are we having lasagna?"

Mom: "It's NOT lasagna, it's Moussake"

Stacey: "It's lasagna."

Whilst eating, Mom says:

"It's kind of Greeky?"

It's arrived!

I'm going to announce it to the world.

My bed has arrived!

After 5 months of waiting and paying through my ass, it's finally here.

Wow, it's amazing when you work yourself stupid to pay for something - live on beans and toast and wear jeans that have a whole in the backside - and the thing you have been paying off finally arrives, the appreciation and feeling of achievement is priceless.

I have lived on the bones of my ass in order to get this bed. I have never had my own bed - only ones that have been passed down, seen other naked bums and have caused my scoliosis to worsen.

Now, I have a bed of my own.

I'll call her Athena.

She turns one today.

Yes, Athena & Chris and I will have many memories (sounds like a 3-some)

And tonight, when my feet climb into the clean sheets and my back feels as straight as ever ... I'll think "Wow, I actually did it".

Looking forward to the first good night sleep in years.

PS: Harry and Sally (my two dogs) - the bed is a no-dog zone (...let's see how long that lasts.)

PPS: Now to get a cupboard and side lamps and my sex cave will be complete.

Quote for the day

I heard this quote on a movie I watched today.

I had to write it on my blog.

"Having someone help you doesn't mean you have failed."

- An epiphany!!! (This so relates to my life and my stubbornness to not allow anyone to help me.)

Wow, it's like the veil had been lifted mentally (although not in my actions as yet)

A bed: The place of fornication

My bed - she is bro'ke.

I am currently sleeping on the bed that my parents once had.
Passed down from a generation, who knows how many times this bed has seen a naked bum and witnessed the sexual act of fornication? How many times a spring has broken from you-know-what.

(Thinking to myself) *Geezlike, it's amazing how I can take any topic and make it sex-related. Give my a piece of dung and I'll probably be able to relate it to some sort of sex act.*

Well, isn't a bed the place where the magic happens? A bed is the place of fornication not so?

Well my bed, she is broken. It sinks in the middle and has two mattresses on top of the other mattress so that I don't have to wake up in the middle of the night to have a spring sticking in my torso. It has not legs and the base is broken. I have scoliosis so my back needs to be supported - my current bed is making me more crippled then I already am.

She lasted long and she has done me proud but hey it's time for a new one.

I ordered my new bed, with headboard, a while back and its finally paid off. I don't think I would have ever been so excited to get a frigg'in bed. I can't wait - it's being delivered this week or next week. And let me tell you, this new bed is beautiful!

My sister gave me pillow cases, a duvet cover etc for Christmas and I still haven't opened the present. When I get the bed, everything has to be clean and fresh and new.

Yippie, I get a new place for fornication. This will surely bring a new spring in my sex step. I can't wait to Christin the new bed. It'll be the first naked bum it will ever see (pity it has be to be my over-sized cellulite-infested bum.)

Who are you?

You know on the TV show CSI .... well it has the fitting song for this blog post. Sung by The Who, it goes something like this (now imagine me in my tone-deaf voice singing):

"who are we, who..who..who..who"

My version: "ouhhhhhh wally, who who who who"

Now, I have written on the right side of my blog that if you have read my blog, once or on a regular basis, please add yourself as a follower. But, as this has been cleanly ignored (cough..cough), so I now have to write a blog post about it.

I want to know who you are.

If you read about my bad cigarette addiction, I want to know who you are.
If you read about my hairy vag, I want to know who you are.
If you read about me purchasing Charlie, my dildo, I need to know who you are.
If you read about my irritations with people, I need to know who you are.

I don't need to know where you live, your age, if you are obese or borderline anorexic, if you have a green ming'in toe nail or if you have a weird eye twitch. As a writer, who wants to talk to the community and help others through my words, or just make someone laugh with my embarrassments, I want to know who I am reaching.

So I ask this, I plead and beg in fact, please become a follower.

Hint: See on the right hand side of the screen, there's a heading saying 'followers' - click there. Can you actually believe it... it's that easy!

So when I come onto my blog tomorrow, I will see a whole list of followers.

Ohhh, I'm so excited, I won't be able to sleep tonight.

Freakazoid

Theme song:

"super-teen extraordinaire Freakazoid! Freakazoid!
Runs around in underwear Freakazoid! Freakazoid!
His brain is overloading, it has a chocolate coating.
Textbook case for Sigmund Freud Freakazoid! Freakazoid!"

Oh my word, this cartoon brings back memories. I just remembered it now, for some arb reason. The theme song makes me laugh. Have you ever watched it?

Who knew that, as a kid, this cartoon would help me through the many encounters with some of the 'freaks' in my current life.

Fuck me, there's a lot of freaks a round these day - they actually make me feel normal. They're all nice and 'normal' when you first meet them, then turn out to be real fruit cakes.

How many freaks do you know? Have you had your 'slice' of fruit cake?

From now on, I'm wearing my freakazoid-beware-glasses.
I'm full already of fruit-cake.