A bed: The place of fornication

My bed - she is bro'ke.

I am currently sleeping on the bed that my parents once had.
Passed down from a generation, who knows how many times this bed has seen a naked bum and witnessed the sexual act of fornication? How many times a spring has broken from you-know-what.

(Thinking to myself) *Geezlike, it's amazing how I can take any topic and make it sex-related. Give my a piece of dung and I'll probably be able to relate it to some sort of sex act.*

Well, isn't a bed the place where the magic happens? A bed is the place of fornication not so?

Well my bed, she is broken. It sinks in the middle and has two mattresses on top of the other mattress so that I don't have to wake up in the middle of the night to have a spring sticking in my torso. It has not legs and the base is broken. I have scoliosis so my back needs to be supported - my current bed is making me more crippled then I already am.

She lasted long and she has done me proud but hey it's time for a new one.

I ordered my new bed, with headboard, a while back and its finally paid off. I don't think I would have ever been so excited to get a frigg'in bed. I can't wait - it's being delivered this week or next week. And let me tell you, this new bed is beautiful!

My sister gave me pillow cases, a duvet cover etc for Christmas and I still haven't opened the present. When I get the bed, everything has to be clean and fresh and new.

Yippie, I get a new place for fornication. This will surely bring a new spring in my sex step. I can't wait to Christin the new bed. It'll be the first naked bum it will ever see (pity it has be to be my over-sized cellulite-infested bum.)