I hate bush just as much as men do

I hate bush.

No, not President Bush
nor the bush found in the pubic area (I'm sure you were thinking that!)...
I hate rose bushes.

Just as a female's bush will be the suffocation of men, so will the rose bushes be the death of me.

I hate bush just as much as men do!

I live on a property where the landlords are rose-mad and God forbid if the line of white rose bushes in the front of my garden (which irritatingly block my beautiful view of the dam) die, or look odd.

They're looking odd. They're looking like someone's hair just after being electrocuted by a plug - the stalks (or properly named canes as I have learnt) are fuckén everywhere.

I have pruned (or in my mind cut with no logical direction) and hacked at these stupid plants and they're just becoming oddly shaped, crooked and bent. And no one likes anything crooked.

Now the landlords and property agent are bitching about the roses and the garden. Do I look like a 90 year old who is retired and spends her days fixing the garden and getting all wrinkled up in the sun? No. I have a life. I don't have time to be making sure that there are no leaves on the stoop, that this dead leaf is off this dying plant and that this plant is cut properly.

Do I look like fuck'en Edward Scissorhand!

Rose bushes are like high maintenance girlfriends... exhausting.

So I'll have to let the rose bushes do their own thing, let them grow and bloom and be unkempt. That's what people suggest. Sometimes its okay for things to be unkempt... well that's debatable!

If not, I'll put long blades on my hands and I'll try be Edward.. or I'll just have to get in a gardener (anyone know a gardener by the name of Edward?)