Speak up

It's hard when you have problems. It's even harder when you keep them to yourself. Like a disease, they eat away at your soul, killing you slowly day by day.

I eventually opened up to someone. Maybe it was fear of judgement that held me back for so long, maybe it was my own brain making a mountain over a mole hill or my own emotions of guilt and sorrow. I finally opened up after my emotions were knocking at the door and could no longer be contained. With tears in my eyes I bared my soul. I released it. Now I am VERY vocal person so one could only imagine how much pain I was going through trying to conceal it. It was sheer torture.

We always expect the worst outcome or the worst reaction. We always feel that once told, we'd be scorned or burnt alive with sticks. But most of the time we're just over-reacting in our heads and the reactions we actually do recieve are nothing that we anticipated. I was comforted to find that the reaction I recieved was one of trust, comfort, positivity and love. I thank that person for truly understanding and for loving me so much that no judgement would ever be placed upon me.

Since communicating and finally letting it out, I feel burden free; my soul can finally breath. As my 'listening ear' said to me - A PROBLEM SHARED IS A PROBLEM HALVED. And this is truly the case. I can breath a sigh of relief. Since sharing, I no longer am drowned by the thought of my problem - it's more like a forgotten past. A distant memory.

If I can pass on just one thing to who ever is reading this, it'll be to speak up. Share your problem, communicate. There's nothing worse then having a problem and feeling like you can't tell anyone; feeling alone. Find that someone who you truly love and trust and share with them. We are all human, we all have dark secrets, problems and issues. And who knows, that person may be able to share some light on your problem and make you see it in another perspective, or better yet, help you heal.

I did it. I was scared shitless. But I did it. And now I can heal.

To that special person - thank you. I love you.