Saturday, February 18, 2012

Big ego's need big cars

Now I have nothing against house wives or soccer moms, I'm only against the choice of cars that they drive.

I have noticed on numerous occasions, the type of cars that these mom's drive. The AUDI 4 x 4's; BMW 4 x 4's; Range Drover Sport (the worst of the lot) - these big ass cars that are supposed to be off-road/ dirt road/ 4 x 4 type cars but they fail to fit this bill.

Definition of 4 x 4 vehicle: a vehicle that has power supplied by the engine to all four wheels so that it can travel easily over difficult ground

Travelling from your house to the school ( a 5 min drive on tar road) does not classify as difficult ground. I mean seriously, have you ever seen a BMW/AUDI/RANGE ROVER SPORT been taking into the mountains and driving in hard terrain. NO! Even the adverts that showcase these cars, illustrate the cars driving on tar roads in the city, or on exception - driving on a dirt road with LIMITED tiny rocks and stones. AUDI and BMW in particular should not be making these cars.

I see alot of these cars.....



...and everytime I see them I want to use my tiny Kia Picanto car, ramm them up the back end of the car and push them into a wall. Hard. The sad thing is, is that these cars are everywhere and they are all driven my soccer moms.



Seriously, does this Audi look like a 4x4, heavy duty; can-withstand-bushy-landscape-and-go-half-way-into-a-dam-and-come-out-safely car? No, and the funny thing is - is that when buying this type of car one 'supposedly' wants to use it for off roading. But do you ever see these cars dirty, or scratched or covered in mud? No. They are always pristine and clean. This proves my point that these cars are bought for egos and not for its true purpose.



Yes, I understand that these soccer mom's transport a million kids around, but why can't they buy something more economically friendly and cheaper? Like this:



or this....

But no, you'd rather have something that has a nice pretty brand name. These average cars do the EXACT same thing as your ego-enhancing cars do.

Some of these mom's only have one or two children. So, they buy these cars as they rich 'yummy' moms and need the extra space for their enlarged heads that carry their large ego's. I mean, these petite woman look stupid in these big cars. Shouldn't the men be driving these cars?

What got me even more irritated is that one day I was waiting in a public parking lot and this soccer mom came and parked next to me. It was a very hot day, and because I'm not rolling in the bucks (like most people) I leave my windows and doors slightly open to get a breeze to try and cool off. There she was parked with her windows up and her air con on.

Air on = engine on = hot air going into my car as well as NOISE from the engine.
This went on for like half an hour. I was fuming.

I wanted to get out of my car and tell this woman:

"Listen here, just because you have the money to pay for the petrol you are wasting by leaving your engine running so you can have your air con on, doesn't mean I have to sit hear and listen to your 'truck' roaring and get more hot by the heat coming off the front of your car. Also, Miss I-have-too-much-money-to-sit-and-worry-about-the-environment, just because you want to be aircon-cool doesn't mean the ozone has to suffer from the constant fumes that your car is blowing out, you inconsiderable bitch."

Point: I hate AUDI/BMW/RANGE ROVER SPORT cars. With the passion.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Jack of all trades



When it comes to career, I wear many hats. I do many things.

I am a jack of all trades. I am like margarine, spread thinly. The problem with Jack, because he is spread thinly, is that Jack does a half arsed job.
Now I am not one to be half-arsed or do things without doing it to the best of my ability, but what happens when you are required to do a job but are not given the correct supplies or means to do it? It's like you're trying to build a wall without cement? Then it's the question of karma. I am getting paid to do these things, but feel as if I shouldn't get paid as I am not doing my best (although this is not a fault on my behalf). Will Karma kick Jack in the butt?

It's like some people sit at a desk job and do nothing. It is not their fault as the company is going down and there is not much work. Will karma come round to bite them in the arse?

First it's the issue of I want to do my best. I want to feel pride in what I do and leave the tasks knowing that I did a good job and that the remuneration is deserved.

Secondly, I'm tried of wearing a thousand hats. They're getting too heavy. I don't want to be a jack of all trades, I want to be a Jill. Jill does one job and is happy with it. It also provides her with enough remuration for the expensive world she lives in. You see, us jacks, we wear many hats because one hat doesn't give us enough remuneration.

I want one hat. One size, one colour, one design! Or if I am too remain a jack, I want to get the right supplies and tools, and do my jobs properly.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Love is in the air... or the tv set!



Happy Valentines Day to all those love obsessed, can't-get-enough-of-each-other couples and to those who are single and went on blind dates.

And to you my gorgeous fiance, happy valentines day. (Although everyday with us is Valentines day. )

So I didn't get any flowers, or cards or teddy bears (that gather dust after a week) - or any other gifts that show our love, but we got a gift that we love.

DSTV BABY!

Gee whiskers - watching reruns of friends to the point of knowing each individual episode and every word said can make one go mad. I was on the brink of insanity.

I am so excited - normal TV! There's so much to watch that I end up clicking, in rapid speed, through the channels. It's like a fat person at a cake store.. too many decisions. It's like you don't want to eat one piece at a time, you'd rather smash the whole cake in your face.

This is the best valentines day ever - thank you DSTV.

Let's celebrate Valentines day my babe and watch porn (a slight form of love in a weird way) - KIDDING!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Butternuts and kidney stones



Hell's bells we have our first butternut. (the image is not ours, but it's sure like it)

Yes it's a baby one - the size of a male testicle - and yes it's only one, but hell's bell's we have one. Hey... maybe that's why it's called a butter...nut - because it looks slightly like a ball, a testicle.

It takes a true 'farmer' to really appreciate this moment, to really be grateful for the growth on his or her farm. Our butternut is fast growing - it's reached puberty even before our tomatoes (which we planted ages ago). Yup, our tomatoes are slow bloomers.

What makes this moment even more special is that a butternut is one of the hardest plants to grow and we did it! It's like giving birth to kidney stones in a hospital bed, when your friend next to you is giving birth to a human baby. It's small but you're still filled with pride(watch the Friends episode with Joey)

Wow, our farm is definately growing (lil' butternut at a time) and country living is getting better each day.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Thumbs up, Thumbs down




Okay no need to hold your horses anymore - I feel inspired to write. Lots going on, so am categorising them in thumbs up; thumbs down!

More "what if's?" = Thumbs down
The other night our electricity went off, taking all the workings of the appliances and gadgets with it. Then the lights came back on, but all the appliances; tv; computers and plug points stayed off. I didn't sleep that night. Oh shit, what if they don't come back on and we're left with nothing? Oh shit. It got me thinking - what if everything is blown; or we get robbed; or the house gets flooded? What if? I took this as a sign. GET HOUSE INSURANCE. Luckily, everything worked the next day but I took this as a universal sign and got me some house insurance. Thumbs up for now being insured but thumbs down for this insurance now creating an even bigger hole in my every light pocket. All these what if's - like funeral policies; retirement; insurance for all assets (and the list goes on) - are making me broke. How on earth is anyone supposed to save money with all this paying for what ifs? We are like chicken licken who thinks the sky is going to fall on our heads.

Wedding plans = Thumbs up
Wedding plans are going well. Invites our out. We have signed the wedding contract and just have to hand it in. Chris has signed his life to me (evil laugh). Going wedding dress patterns and fabric shopping tomorrow. All is looking good. I'm the luckiest girl in the world, having the love of my life.

Jobs = Thumbs done

Still doing a job I hate. Every day I think to myself "Why, everyday, do I do something I am not passionate about?" Thumbs done, point blank.

Drinking = Thumbs down
The other night I got drunk off wine and vomited. Shit I hate a hang over. I hate drinking and doing silly shit and then waking up feeling embarrassed, trying to remember the antics I got up to. I think the older one gets, the longer the hangover lasts. I swear, the next day I slept most of the day and still felt like I was shot with a tranquilizer gun. I hate drinking. Even when you're drunk, thinking all 'lekker', it's still a big thumbs down. What's the point of drinking...seriously?

Bladder infection = Thumbs down
Been suffering with this for almost two weeks. Need I say more. Pee. Burn. Pee. Burn. Citris Soda. Burn. Irritable bladder prevention medication. Burn.

Broke ass = Thumbs down

I'm sick of being broke and counting my pennies. Bills, bills, bills, bills, bills, bills. Debt and more debt. Big thumbs down.

Look at this list. I need more thumbs up. My thumb is getting sore from pushing down so much.

Hold your horses

Hi. It's been so long that I forgot who you are.

Dear blog, I am sorry. I have neglected you.

I have been busy. Uninspired to write really, not wanting to actually sit down and type.

So hold your horses, when I am inspired to write - I will.

Patience is a virtue, virtue is a grace and grace was a fat girl who never washed her face. Poor dirty grace.