Willy central

Dear blog,

Sorry I have not written for a while - I've been too busy playing with sexy lingerie, dildo straws, willy biscuits, penis covered cups, willy cake and my big knob head-band. On Saturday it was willy central.

Yes - it was my bachelorette party.

Dressed to impress in my blonde wig, apron, bride sash, penis head band and 'tranny' make up I was good to go!

Wow did my friends and mother make an effort - I was well impressed.

Night antics included squatting over a man's urinal, kissing 2 bald man's heads and asking for condoms (as part of the list I had to complete by the end of the night) and dancing on the bar. With the amount of alcohol I consumed I'm surprised I didnt pass out or cotch. Good going Stacey!

I woke up with such gratitude and happiness for my friends and family who did this for me (including a dry mouth and hangover)
Best night out yet!

Chris's bachelor party is this weekend (...and you know how men get)

Well I'll have to seduce him with the many sexy lingerie outfits I got from my party - every day leading up to his bachelor party. And before he leaves for his gig I'll wear my one piece and he'll leave with a good memory in his head, and one that wont be quickly forgotten.

Thanks Ladies, loved it.

(When can we do it again...naughty laugh. There's still two weeks to my wedding so it can be my bacholette party every second night! Pick a date.)

Counting down the days

Can you believe its less then 3 weeks and it'll be my wedding day.

Talk about stress. Even weed-head-Bob Marley, with his chilled-doped-up attitude, would see his balls shrivel with anxiety.
Most of the big things are done, it's just the little things that slip your mind, that cause you to almost pull your hair out.
EEEekkkkkkkk.....

I am excited though and the hit of marrying Chris - this huge commitment - has come and gone. I'm not refering to cold feet, mine are as 'warm' as ever. It's just the thought of 'Holy crap, I'm getting married!!!"

And it's now that we begin counting down the days.

Stacey Rowan, filled with stress, will not become Bridezilla. By the last week, I would have been all stressed out, that no longer will I worry or feel anxious. Maybe I'll adopt Bob Marley's attitude (without the weed of course)

Everything will fall into place.

I need one final organising day today - just to get all my ducks in a row and finish up on those last errans and things to do. Thank Goodness for my mother, without her I'd be Bridezilla from the moment I'd gotten engaged. Bridezilla that would have killed Bob Marley!

3 weeks baby - 3 weeks.

It is as good as they say it is...

Making love by the fireplace is as good as they say it is (or as shown in movies) I finally did it and can now put having sex in the lounge, as one of my places I have done it in. Unless you're a prune, we all have those little lists. Although, it wasn't in an isolated wooden cabin out in the Andes, with snow and polar bears peering through the window... I had 7 dogs watching instead. And instead of being surrounded with snow, I had smoke billowing in from the chimney (our chimney doesn't work to well) - so although I couldn't really breath and my eyes were burning, the smoke created a 'sexy' haze. But hey... there's nothing like the warm heat and the sound of the wood crackling to set any 'occasion' on fire. Besides the 7 onlookers, it was still very romantic. Yup, it is as good as they say it is!

A new blog to follow

I have another blog for you all to follow, and this one is EXTRA special as it's my fiance.

My addiction to blog writing has now rubbed off onto Chris... and hard. His blog, so cleverly written (he should be a journalist... shit, this boy is talented!), is as follows:

http://chris-tal-clear-photography.blogspot.com/2012/04/so-it-begins.html?spref=fb

Go check it out and follow! It showcases his beautiful photography. I get so happy seeing him being all proud of himself and it's so nice to see him with firecrackers up his bum and doing something with his talent. It's nice to see him ambitious! Hopefully this blog will take him places - with his talent I am sure it will.

Go babe Go - blog away!

Pushing trollies through sex stores

I have a food fetish at the moment.

Pushing my trolley around the grocery store is like walking through a sex store. I love food and lately it's about what 'excites' me.

I've just baked scones, laced them with cream and strawberry jam and enjoyed every tantalising mouthful. Every taste heightened, every note of sweetness hitting the the tip of my tongue.

The kitchen is like a sexual act. You have your cooking utensils (aka sex toys); the ingredients (your bodies) and the heat of the oven (the sexual chemistry). Every meal you make is a different experience; and every final dish is the end result, the ultimate orgasm.

I've been having quite a few orgasms lately.

Salad, sweet chilli and avo
As a newly introduced virgin to salad, I just can't get enough now. It's like once you pop, you can't stop. It's as if I have found a good sex book and am not able to put it down. Eating this salad is like having sex with an unexperienced person (although not a virgin) - it's refreshing, clean with a hint of kinkiness. Even an unexperienced person has a little 'sweet-chilli' side to them; a whip inside their Victorian closet.

Chicken, coriander, tomato and Thai pesto.
Now this is when it starts to get interesting. With all these tastes it's busy in your mouth; like a very busy rumble in the sack. Pesto, which hits all corners of your mouth - the sweet, sour, salty and bitter, can be compared to a very sexual man - and one who knows what he's doing. A peck on the lips, a lick on the hips and a smothering all over. There's nothing 'local' about this meal, it's foreign - like an Italian man. And yes, in this case when it comes to foreign - the grass is most certainly greener on the other side. And like those many occasions when you wake up next to a man you didn't recogise and have remorse and guilt written all over your face - this meal is healthy and guilt free.

Tomato and onion
Raw onion. This is the best orgasm for me. Raw onion and tomato is the perfect combination. It's like Angelina and Brad Pitt doing it. Pure perfection.

Chilli poppers (Jalapeno's stuffed with feta and crumbed)
Chilli to me is like using Durex 'heat' lubrication - uncomfortable, with a severe burning. Having said that though - bit by bit, I'm starting to like the chilli. There's something about that sudden instant burn. It's like having sex with a man who is like the rabbit - goes hard and fast for a minute and almost breaks you in the act. Then just as one suffers from ring sting; the encounter with the 'rabbit-man' leaves you painful and sore the next morning. So this meal is good on the day, but bad in the morning.

Pork and butter beans
An old family favourite which I have recently acquired the recipe for, and of which will now cook on a regurlar basis. This meal - creamy, filling and rich - is like making love with your husband or wife. It's familiar and satisfying and always leaves a good taste in your mouth, and one that lingers.

Pancakes with oriental veg and tomato relish
Pancakes are local; oriental veg is international. This meal is about having two polar opposite tastes, but two different tastes that mesh, and mesh well. It's like a midget and a very tall person doing the dirty deed. You think 'how on earth do they do it'... but they just do, and it's amazeballs.

I can't wait for my next shopping trip. Looking at the fresh produce, the tinned foods and consumables is like looking at the array of dildo's on display. Which one of these food products is going to set my mouth on fire and leave me salivating for more? With good food, as with great sex, always leave one wanting more.

Self-discovery

The time is now.

After many incidences with people, I have now realised that I am portraying what I don't want to portray; I am expressing what I don't want to express and am I the very person I don't want to be.

I have issues. Everyone does. I have been aware of them for as long as I can remember. I seek psycologists or physics to give me direction, but have only just reminded myself to look within.

The more I try and hide my issues or avoid them, the more they are right in my face; the more I try not speak about them, the more that's all I speak about. I don't understand why this is, but it just is. And these issues are becoming more and more prevalent in my life, and more noticable to others.

So I have made a decision to start on a journey of self-discovery. I am going to look within; I am going to seek the child within and lay all my issues on the table. I am actually quite excited to get out my old files, old photo's and old memories. Bring out the cardboard and pens - it's time to ask those questions and write down those mind maps. It's all about 'me-time'.

I must not seek others to find clarity, it will come from within.

Let this journey of self-discovery begin.

What goes in, must come out

I am not a fan of chilli, spices, curry and anything hot.

To me, the idea of removing any form of taste in your mouth with the over powering taste of heat, is a waste of time.

But went to a friends house last night for supper and decided to brave the heat and eat some 'chilli poppers' (jalapeno chilli stuffed with feta, crumbed and then fried).

Into the mouth... wait... slight burn... burn... quite nice. I surpassed my expectations and ate about 8.

But what goes in, must come out. And this morning, my braveness is being rewarded with ring-sting. I have the chilli bum. For the life of me, I can't understand how these Indians do it. No wonder they so thin - their whole body weight is pood out the next morning, after a day of the curry. I mean, have you ever seen an obsese Indian? And if so, he's probably allergic to the hot stuff.