A picture is worth a 1000 words ... and 10 lessons

I took this close-up picture of this leopard. Yes, me. And not from afar and not by zooming up the camera lens. This was close up photography, with this majestic animal a mere few feet away. And, at a national park where these sightings of leopards are extremely rare.



So how did I get so lucky? Well, let me reveal a few lessons I learnt while on a simple bush drive around Pilansberg National Park.



Who knew looking for animals would reveal life lessons, human nature observations on top of seeing animal species. Whether you're about to go on a self-drive excursion around a wildlife reserve or not, these lessons apply to both life in general (humanity) and actual ways to improve your driving experience if in a game park.



Lesson 1: Fast drivers, like humans on the busy rat race of life, miss out on smaller sighting opportunities and experiences. Going slow, whether in a game drive or in life, allows you to see and appreciate smaller things, experience smaller, or though not less significant things. Sometimes slowing down to a halt always results in good things coming to those who wait.



Lesson 2: Watching an interaction between a tortoise and a mother warthog captivated us for some time, while other drivers noticed and immediately drove on, or drove passed completely in search of bigger, more popular game. This experience was amazing, truly. The lesson here is to not race for the big things in life, everything is significant and deserves your offering, offering equal rewards but in different forms.



Lesson 3: Seeing many birds of the same species makes them a common sighting. However, a common sighting, just like a common experience, does not mean that the experience or subject is any less significant. Whether irregular or regular, significance must be awarded every time.



Lesson 4: A leopard approached our vehicle. Walked closely by the vehicle, around the vehicle, never reacted to us reversing next to it to get a better view and never once giving us attention or showing signs of danger. Calm, just pure calm. The complete opposite behaviour then showcased on media or sign boards. While some animals may be dangerous, it was amazing to see that everything warning us about this leopard or predators was wrong. Animals are not dangerous, they are actually calm and peaceful when not provoked. Don't believe the horror stories or danger warnings surround animals. Leave them unprovoked and they won't react negatively to you. Humans are the dangerous ones. Maybe we can learn how to react and how to behave by simply viewing so-called dangerous animals.

Lesson 5: Don't leave 'the game' too early. We were going to leave the park early - due to concern over the time of day and other work tasks we had to get to - but we didn't. And in five minutes of deciding to make the most of the game drive experience, we were rewarded by a rare leopard sighting and other animals we wanted to see appearing. Lesson here is to enjoy the experience, be in the moment, focus your mind on the current situation and don't let other mental concerns drag you out of a rewarding, enjoyable physical experience.



Lesson 6: While viewing the leopard, a game drive vehicle appeared with tourists. Instantly all we could see was a flurry of pictures being taken, tablets being held out of the large game drive vehicle and technology taking over the human eye and real life viewing. The difference between the calmness of the leopard and the busyness of the tourists taking pictures was so clear and interesting to see. Lesson here is get off your phone or camera in life and see things with your own eyes. Be calm like the subject or situation and absorb it in, then reach for the camera or cellphone.


Lesson 7: Set you intentions before entering a situation or project or experience. We had set our intentions of what we wanted to see before entering the game park and every one of our intentions were ticked. We sought to also find out if in fact the game park has big cats and predators, questioning it the whole time we were in the park and lo and behold, the leopard appeared just before we were about to start on our drive to the exit. This can be applied in life - set intentions and they come to light.


Lesson 8: Take a different path, an untouched path, an uncommon road. While other drivers stuck to the common roads, we ventured far and beyond to dirt roads not populated by the tourists or the Big Five stalkers. And in taking these unexplored, quiet, longer paths, we were blessed by the sightings of five rhinos. Yes - five rhinos - a rare sighting. So in life, take roads less travelled and you might find that the rewards are bigger and better.

Lesson 9: Bird watching is fun. I'm learning, thanks to my bird fanatic husband, to love birds and bird watching. Seriously, birds are amazing and seeking them is so much fun and ever so interesting. While other drivers never stopped to greet the melodic sounds of birds or greet their eyes by viewing their beauty - and often were seen bored thanks to the invisibility of larger animals on the roads - we were thrilled most of the time with a plethora of birds always waiting to be viewed and watched. Lesson here, when what you perceive or view in life becomes boring, or you can't see the bigger blessings, look for the smaller wonders and learn how to enjoy them in all their abundance.

Lesson 10: A day off, especially in nature, is a wonderful solution to a busy mind, a stressful outlook or a busy life. It's sometimes all you need to get out of your head, reboot and gain stillness and rejuvenation to move forward and continue conquering your life, your world. 

A million thoughts and a cuppa coffee

5 March 2018 marks the first official week of self-employment.

I resigned from my full-time job with my last day of corporate life ending last week Wednesday. Now that the rush of last-minute to-dos has stopped and the high rise of emotions has now settled, this morning sees me with a cuppa coffee and a million thoughts of how to conquer the world in this new phase of my life.

Only me, Stacey, and my brain, would see me sipping on a hot cuppa coffee at 6.30am contemplating my impact on life. All this on my first day of what I considered my 'Sabbatical Of Stacey Seeking' (SOSS).

Questions pondering:
1. What is my impact in life? What is my purpose?
2. Am I bored? How do I stop this feeling of being bored, if in fact I am actually bored?
3. How can I discourage my brain from thinking of resorting back to old ways, full-time jobs etc?
4. How do I find the enthusiasm to start getting things done on my long list of things to do?
5. How am I going to ease into this new phase of my life and bring all that I desired into action?

All this thinking within 10 minutes of getting up and drinking my coffee. I mean, seriously, who does this much thinking so early in the morning. Give yourself a break Stacey.

Remind yourself Stacey of the following:
1. You have lots to do - whether actual work, housework, self-work
2. It's now only 10.21am and you have already done so much. You have set up email signature, you have cleaned your office desk, emailed and contacted clients regarding different work issues, written a newsletter for a client etc
3. There is lots to keep you busy for the rest of the day - articles to be written, hogs to be cleaned, much business admin and marketing to be done, proposals to send out, this and that to be confirmed. And all this in your first day with loads more to be done in the next few days.. and within this new phase of your life
4. You have finally started blogging again - and found much joy and peace of mind in writing this simple blog post

You got this.

Your SOSS needs no SOS. This is a process. A process takes time. Give this journey time. Breathe.

Stacey, let this be your affirmation for the day: "I have done well, am doing well, I will do well. I am busy but I take it slow. I calmly ease into this new phase and allow the Universe to unveil what it is meant to unveil. I took a big step to find my passion, to find self-time, and I allow time to do just that. All is well within as it is without. All is well now as it will be then. I release old thinking and self-pressure. And it is so."

Control & demand: The mind speaks to the body

2016 came and went with so many life lessons learnt without the written blogs to go with them - time went so fast and learning was a frequently fast occurrence. However, all jotted down I shall go through the list of blog topics and write them all out. It's the 1 January 2017 and what a perfect day to reflect, blog and let go.

First up on the lessons learnt ladder of life is the blog of The mind speaks to the body. As the saying goes, the body speaks the mind, and what manifests in the mind will eventually rear its emotionally-induced head in the body through illness. While emotions, negative thoughts and a negative mind frame causes dis-ease within the body all by its powerful subconscious self, I've learnt that the mind can also speak to the body consciously to heal what has already come to bodily fruition. Sure, we all know that the mind is the most powerful tool and can affect the body, but when you feel it and experience this it really sinks in on a cellular level to the point of mind control and body demand.

Most folk aren't ignorant to the money-driven medical field that is and know full well that diseases are man-made, with medicines pumped into our systems all with the intention to create more illness, which means more money from individuals. Most people avoid antibiotics like the plague; I do as well. The word 'anti' should scare people off from the get go with 'antibiotics' described as going against the natural ecosystem. Who the hell wants to put something into their body that goes against it's natural form? However, when faced with a periodontal abscess like I did and basically having a ball bag of pus hanging off your cheek, sometimes happy thoughts render the pain ever-increasing with only medicine to resort to.

Oh how I love when the medicine I take creates more bodily symptoms, which will be soothed by more medicine purchased by people but not me. Who knew that while my face was getting better, my digestive system was wrecking havoc and my vagina almost took a trip to the itchy farm. While suffering from antibiotic-induced symptoms, I promised myself to not rectify these further symptoms and justify the money-hungry medical field by purchasing more poverty-creating antibiotics. I would allow my body to heal itself and to give it back its power lost by swallowing unnatural pills. I affirmed that my body would heal itself.

Time passed and my lower private regions resorted back to their normal selves, however, the ball bag on my cheek returned. While in the know, having researched the abscess, I became well educated on the causes, symptoms and just how many infectious bacteria lies in the body. A scary concept. But a realisation which prompted present and future enhanced bodily care. Dis-ease always goes away faster or is less panicked over when one knows what one has. Once bitten, once medicated, twice aware and trebled self-care. I advise everyone to truly take care of themselves in more ways than normally done so to prevent future dis-ease and suffering from the same disease or temporary illness.

With the return of the abscess, and haunted by the additional symptoms, I was not going to buy the same harmful antibiotics and inflict bowl and vagina problems onto myself again. I would not only allow my body to heal itself through it's own affirmed power, but this time I would also demand that it get better - I would demand the abscess to leave. Positive thoughts turned to mind control. Mind control to heal the body on demand.

This blog is not to state what is already known, that the mind and its thought can heal the body through usual positive thoughts, but the purpose of this blog is to tell everyone that the mind can also heal the body through mind control and subsequent body demand. This takes positive thinking to a whole new level. It's time to bloster your thinking. Get what I am saying?

Another lesson learnt: Money habits follow you from childhood

I had another vent. And thereafter, another brain fart.

Is your relationship with money as an adult created by the relationship you had with money as a child? And if so, if this relationship was bad both in adulthood and in childhood, how do you break up with the son of a bitch and turn it into a beneficial, blossoming one?

Money growing up was always on an allowance basis. As a teenager, my family had money, but as kids, we were given a monthly allowance and told to learn how to manage money. A great tool done by any parent, but looking back now, the only lesson I seem to have learnt with regards to money is that I had none. To this day, bordering on 30 – the age you think you’ll finally have your shit together – who would have guessed that I'm still struggling and still flat broke? Funny that considering I work my ass off at a million and one jobs and still find myself living hand to mouth.

I can’t help but wonder if this is my childhood repeating itself on me like bad breathe in the morning? I’m so sick of this struggle, just as much as wearing second-hand clothes or the same T-shirt year after year, just the same as my childhood when my allowance wouldn’t allow me to buy anything new as a child.

Have I grown up to subconsciously believe that I am not deserving of money? That it is completely normal to be broke and have to fight tooth and nail for one rand? Through my childhood, did I subconsciously create a block in my life stopping me from getting money? Quite perplexing 'ey?

Quite frankly am so done with struggling. I am done not having enough money to pay for bills, watching them so easily fall into arrears. I am done not being able to buy clothes or make up and walking around like I walked out of a charity clothes shop. I am so done with counting coins and getting stuck on the side of the road with no petrol in my car. I am so sick and tired of not enjoying the leisure pleasures of life. Not being on a honeymoon, not being able to do my nails or hair, not being able to go out and spend a little on destressing activities. When it comes to money, I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Today on 23 May I break up with the bad relationship I have with money. I break the cords of my childhood and monetary habits and now believe that I am worth all the abundance in the world. I deserve money and all that goes with it. I will no longer just survive, but thrive. I let go of all the bad associations and preconceived notions I have created in my childhood about money and so lived with as an adult for the past few years.

Tomorrow is a new money-filled day, let the money flow in baby. Lesson learnt. Awareness noted.

The struggle is real. So many people I know are feeling the money crunch. Life is hard. But I no longer choose to be a victim but to come out victorious. I will win the battle of the wallet.

When you realise how lessons follow you from childhood and that everything links together, it's quiet mind-blowing. I am appreciative of realising just how my habits of today, are the repercussions of those created 'yesterday'.

Why wait Sam, do it now

We all live different lives, with some of us living so uniquely and so out the box that writing about it just has to be mandatory.
However, when these unique lives are so enjoyable different, those living it are all about the living than having time to write about it and jot down life experiences.

However, to me, I find it so important to relay these stories.. to tell the tales for those truly living how humans should live. Those living a life on the complete opposite spectrum to what is considered 'normal'.

Case in point, my dearest friend Sam.

She lives a life controversial to some, but admired by so many others. After speaking with her now (and yes she has a cellphone and reception even in the outdoors she calls home) I informed her not to waste time to tell her tale. Not to put a start date or create a heavy load with all her experiences from which to start writing, but to address this telling of her tale in small bites, here and now. If not now, than when?

I offered to write something on her (for her)... to give her a small taste of what it would be like for her if she'd take two minutes from her extra-ordindary daily life to inspire everyone else by reading about her journey.

So here's your first words of encouragement Sam... I've spent a few minutes writing about you. I took one photo and made it online for the world to see. Think of the moment, think in the now. Post in the now. Talk in the now. You have something amazing... so tell others about it. If you won't, I will.

In short, and not taking anything from just how amazing this truly this, Sam lives in a very small town in Greyton, where the community is small; electricity is non-existent; trading and bartering for daily goods and living necessities is the name of the game; everyone becomes their own farmer; living is simple; organic food is consumed constantly; nature is golden and living without money is hard, but certainly possible.

When your parents told you that the normal 9-5 job and bill-orientated life of adulthood is the only thing destined for you, Sam is proving this wrong. When those who said money is everything and if you're not surrounded by all that glitters, then you're not living, Sam is proving them wrong. For all those deeply embedded in human nature and old societal programming who believe that unhappiness is found in the jobless, the hippie life or a life in small towns and nature-filled areas, Sam is showing that happiness does truly exist, even more so, in a life that is anything but conventional.

As in that movie Wanderlust, I feel it's so important for everyone to experience some time, or some part of their lives, in those small communities where they grow their own vegetables, dine in candle light and aren't ordered by alarm clocks. What an experience to be hold... well... it's definitely on my bucket list.

As seen in Sam's picture, a world where technology and nature can exist to create something much better than that which we are set to believe in from childhood. She's also got nature on her side and organic fruit to munch on. Bliss.

I can just imagine the life lessons she is learning. I can just imagine how her mind is focused on the now. How human stresses are not regularly interrupting her beautiful experiences of what life should truly be about. I don't know the finer details or how exactly it is in Sam's world, but in two minutes of speaking with her, it's encouraged me to encourage you all to take a look at your life and to, some time in future, be enthusiastic enough to try live a life you never expected or one you thought was not possible. It is possible. It's not all butterflies and candyfloss I'm sure, but there is so much to life and surely it provides a better solution to the mundane life of working your lives away to pay bills.. following along like sheep to the grave.

*Samantha Cartwright is a reiki practitioner, among other spiritual gifts she offers. Her life is a story of lessons learnt and messages of spiritual awareness. For more information on who she is and what she does, or to contact her for healing, visit http://www.serendipity-sun.com/?page_id=144

Keep inspiring Sam (and possibly... I'll keep writing for you)
And to everyone reading this... remember it's possible. Live outside the box. Be inspired. Happiness is out there in its own rare forms other than where most of society thinks it is. Many paths... choose the rocky one.

*Comment below on the unique life you live and share your tale. Or comment below if you would like me to write more stories on Sam and hear more about her life and the spiritual lessons which go with it.

Cleaning tips from the non-professional

Hello readers,

How great it is to be getting back into my blogging. The same can be said for my cleaning. Let's just hope both lasts longer than the blink of an eye or a moment of passing gas.

Yes, it's the first of January and one would expect the common spring clean to take place, but for me (one who would rather stick hot coals in her eye balls than clean), this cleaning mania is not from year-end hussle but from a proactive choice.

After going away for a few days, with the dogs now learning the "scary" life of the outdoor wilderness (aka the back garden) during the day and night (a big step for us all), the dogs are now outside which means the house can be cleaner for longer. I also came back from holiday knowing the geysers and plumbing of the house were going to be fixed, which meant that if I cleaned, I could finally live in an at-least functional house. I wanted to clean, to change the energy of the house, the layout and get everything sorted. To focus on the now and make our living space the best it could be. (PS - we moved in two years ago and were not aware of the full extent of the damages/condition of the house.)

So even from the onset of arriving after a 6-hour journey from Durban, we started cleaning right away. It is now a few days later and we're still going at it. And on my journey to breaking my back and turning the skin of my hands into leather shoes from all the detergents used, I have gained a few tips to help you in your cleaning journey where you start at one end and never seem to leave that end... at all.... ever. More tips to follow as we get deeper into the journey of elbow grease and shiny surfaces.
So on your break between picking up dog shit and washing the Pronutro-encrusted bowl left by the kiddies, have a read and a laugh.

Tip 1: Don't start cleaning. Just don't. Simple. The more you clean the more you realise just how much more there is to go. Sometimes cleaning is surface level, other times it's like a car engine. You think there is one problem but upon further inspection, you find 10 more. So if you're not willing to open that can of worms, don't even start. Be prepared to clean and then realise there is more than meets the germ-seeking eye. Be prepared to dance, like the cha-cha... one step forward and two steps back.
Tip 2: Do not have black curtains in your bedroom or pretty much any room. This is not a strict rule but but black curtains keep in the energy, the staleness and stop energy flow. Keep it light and fresh.

Tip 3: Take breaks, smoke a shit load. Be inspired in these breaks. Don't just clean to clean, but clean to be creative. Try different objects in different places, different room layouts, different decor options, different uses for different things. Clean and be creative all in one big ball of "holy fuck, cleaning is actually quite fun".

Tip 4: Don't be hard on yourself. You'll be happy to know there are others who live further in the pig shit than you.
Tip 5: Do room by room or area by area. Start and finish something so you can see the change/transformation. You need gratification when cleaning and to feel like you have accomplished something. This little bit here and little bit there is like wearing a pair of pants with a hole in both the groin area and the buttock area. It doesn't work and leaves you feel incomplete.
Tip 6: Cleaning and maintaining a clean space and having dogs goes well together in the same way that ice loves the desert. If you're like me and the pups are your babies, remember that you can love them but you can also have routine. Reduce the stress of waking up to wee's and poo's on the floor or constant cleaning with the dogs sleeping inside. Set a routine and boundaries, have the pups outside, as hard as it may be. It's healthier for everyone.
Tip 7: Be a beggar sometimes. When cleaning and trying to make your house better, don't feel bad for asking others if they have any leftover paint, frames, wood, whatever. If they do, then great. If they don't, that's also fine. You'll be surprised how much money you save by just asking. And asking doesn't make you cheap, it makes you proactive.
Tip 8: The bath can be very handy with large sums of dishes when you're facing a tiny sink. After a big meal or catering (weird as it may sound), chuck all the dishes in one hot bath. They soak, rinse and wash so fast and it saves you constant counter space making and rerunning of water.
Tip 9: Washing floors on your knees (the typical South African way) far beats using a mop. Just saying. Moving around with dirt, hot water from the kettle (great for removing floors stains) and germs on your knees is fun. Who needs a spa mud treatment when this is free?
Tip 10: Don't fear empty spaces. If your house is a weird and enlarged space like mine and you're left with large spaces of nothing, don't worry. Face the emptiness and move on. There is a place for everything and everything in its place and there's no need to fill space with crap and fluffy teddy bears and broken hand-me-downs just because. Sometimes simple and decluttered is better. Try out different objects/furniture in different rooms and see what fits and sadly if the rest of the house is now cozy but there's a large empty space, it's okay. Rather get most spaces proportionally filled than scatter everything around.
Tip 11: Keep going. Rome was not built in a day and with dogs in and out, full-time work and having no domestic worker, it will take you a while. But little bit by little bit and if you start to become consumed, that's great. It's a process. No ... Aladdin and the genie is a movie and we cannot blink and wish for a clean house. So start and take it in your stride. If I can clean and last this long in a house that could have put me in a mental hospital by now, anyone can do it.

Back to cleaning I go....

Let me know your cleaning tips and stories by commenting below.

Maturity in change of thoughts (Be money wise, not festive stupid)

As I look back on the year that was, so many thoughts, so many changes, so much additional growing up. And this is not the ego thinking you're mature and wiser than all, or thinking that you've changed and got your old girl panties on when you're still sporting nappies, it's just the simple realisation of how one's change of thought really reveals growth and maturity.

How you can think one thing, sweat blood and tears to defend it, and then further down the "awareness" line you start thinking, saying, believing the complete opposite. Oh shit, you have unintentionally swapped debating sides - but hey, it feels good.

Sometimes, when you think something, step back and review this thought you actually are taken aback with how your new thought is a complete 360 of the old thought. A reversal of mature proportions. This happens in the learning school of life. And its something to look observe, pat yourself on the back and move forward feeling good.

Case in point... growing up in my early twenties, money flew out the door and debt was raised with every passing Christmas - I was not overly stupid but I was not wise.

But as I started maturing and paying off debt - with my mindset firmly fixed on "live like a pauper so you can finally breathe with no debt strangling you to death" things were different this year (2015). Yes, the festive season is not over but already I can pat myself on the back and be proud of my new thoughts and actions this holiday season - where santa is a robber in disguise.

If you've already have been paid and are looking at January like it's a desert, don't be too hard on yourself, just take my advice and next year act the exact opposite - be money wise, not festive stupid. If you've hitched a ride on the "Save money, enjoy Christmas on the cheapo side" then well done, join the club, and pour yourself a glass of water! Well not to that extreme if you know what I mean, I'm not saying instead of a turkey you have to eat maggi noodles and enjoy the holidays like those on the TV show Extreme Cheapskates. But you have been rational and future minded so well done. It's tough to be cautious and to hold back, but in January, you'll see... we'll be laughing.

This year I vowed to not go on credit for any gifts. I vowed to make my money last so that I would not have to humble (and embarrass) myself to ask to borrow money from family members. I vowed to focus on experience rather than purchases. I vowed to go through the festive money wise and not have to go through January stressing my labia off when not even a crust of bread was affordable. This year would be different and it was (so far) and for that I am so grateful and proud. I managed to pay bills, get to durban for a quick get away, come home with money and still have money for January.

Some tips I have learnt regarding money and the festive season:

1. Pay all your bills first (everyone says this, but do it.)
2. Be prepared to put SOME money aside for you, even if it means paying one or two bills slightly lower. You NEED THIS! When you have money (even though it's a little) you're not in the mind frame of no money. Think money, receive money. Think no money and all you get is desperation. The law of attraction. It also relates to doing extra jobs to get through the holidays. Think small and you'll end up working your butt off for nix to nothing. Think big and do big jobs that are worth your time and effort.
3. Spend what you can on presents and don't feel bad if they are not worth a million rand or less than what another person buys you. You come first and there is no need to go into debt when you buy something for thought, not for showing off.
4. Allow others to buy, make dinner or offer things. I always, always, used to buy others things and offer food this year. This year I removed my stubborness and took in the graciousness in which things were given. And no, this doesn't mean ask or sponge off others.
5. Sleep more. We have such hectic years. Use the holiday to sleep, rest. You can't be spending money when you're sleeping. So catch up on those hours lost instead of constantly keeping yourself busy and emptying your wallet.
6. If you have many jobs or are waiting for people to pay you.... as hard as it may be, ask some of them to pay you end of Dec or beginning of Jan. This means you won't spend it and will make do with what you have, knowing calmly that you still have money coming in.

So this Christmas wasn't a penny crusher for me. I've enjoyed myself, I've purchased gifts with heart and I'm not terrified of January. Cheers to me and being money wise, a mind frame I shall use throughout my life moving forward. Yes, I could have had 2 minutes of pleasure eating an overpriced icecream, but the feeling of making it through by myself is worth that much more! May we all find ways to get through January. 2016 will not be a year of debt, but building savings.
First Christmas survived and succeeded as the new rational me
- Santa, go F yourself.

Give it a name because you fear it

Life is hard for everyone at the moment. All around me I see people depressed, unhappy and 'bipolar'. I put 'bipolar' into inverted commas because ... well you'll see just now. They say the outer is the inner, but in this case specifically these people are just confirming how happy I am.

I have not written a blog in a while. I have so much to talk about, have experienced so much growth, but I'm in such a space of truth that whatever I say will be truth - in-your-face truth. Some may think I'm going mad, others won't understand it or argue it. But I thought I'd write tonight for those that will relate. So, let the truth be told. I've stood in my own truth for so long, now it's time to share it.

Instead of going into detail, let's make this short and sweet. A lot of shit has gone down lately... enough for anyone to go jumping off a cliff or singing happily at the top of their voices with joy. A rollercoaster if you will. But overall, despite bad things happening, I've maintained this overall positivity. Some may call it hyper 'bipolar', others have called it manic, or forced. I was called hyper 'bipolar' recently, as well as manic positive - neither one correct, neither one having anything to do with me. Let me explain. But before I do, it erked me when they called me this. It made me question myself. And there is nothing worse when you know yourself and question it. But hey, this questioning made me write this blog and realise a few things.

When anyone is too down or too happy, humans naturally look at this as abnormal. It makes them uncomfortable. This constant willingness to see the positive in everything, to constantly feel this vibration of happiness is so out of their own realm that they want to put a name on it and place in the corner. Touched by no one - keeping it a secret. It's like humans have been indoctrinated to feel down, to feel unhappy and it's if being happy is going to be bad. Like a flu virus. This positive energy is going to touch others, and in society this is wrong. I'm not talking about being chucky cheese and having a constant unnatural smile on your face 24.7. I do have down moments, but not those that will place me in the 'bipolar' category. That's normal but overall I am positive. I am a happy spiritual being. That's why people look at me and think I am forcing it. That I'm making it unnatural. No, actually.... it's unnatural for YOU to be unhappy and down. Can't you see the truth? Who is to say your way is right? How can my positive way be wrong?

Bringing this back to the point, mankind has placed labels on things. Being positive is not hyper 'bipolar'. Shocker - this illness does not exist. It only exists only in this man-made name. We as humans are supposed to be happy and positive constantly. As souls, we're supposed to float in this positive vibrant energy. But humans and society have claimed otherwise. So before you take me to a doctor, make me swallow pills that will make me numb.... have a think about us as humans, our beliefs systems, what we were taught. And before you wait to watch me hit my low after my high, slice a knife across my wrist and cry.... please know you'll be wasting your time. Once you're in this new realm, this new shift you can see emotions for what they are and embrace them.... one smile at a time

And remember that we're all mirrors. So if you see someone who is happy and it annoys you, ask yourself... why are you not as happy? What is irritating me about them being happy? If you try and be a doctor and medically diagnose someone, remember that you're just seeing yourself and you're trying to reflect your own 'illness' on them. Misery loves company.

Before I end this, please note that if you've been diagnosed with bipolar or any other relatable illness for chemical/body reasons, I agree to that. Then it's not an emotional/mental based 'illness' but a chemical one which medication can find a balance.

So be happy. It's the only option and may you spread this happiness everywhere. WHether you force it in the beginning, or wonder why you've been so happy for so long and when you low will come, or why you look at the positive when a negative hits, don't ask why.... just embrace it.

Tips on renewing your drivers licence in SA

Unlike this picture which showcases a woman smiling after getting her licence renewed.... most South Africans walk out of the licensing department hot, sweaty, irritable and with a very long face. That was me today after I renewed mine. A chore that we all wait for the last minute to do, with sheer dread splashed across our worried faces.

In South Africa, our systems are backwards and you generally have to book an entire day off to renew your driving licence, depending on if you have the right department and documents with you - which no one gives a damn about telling you which ones. If you don't, well that's a whole other story in itself.

In South Africa you can expect hot stuffy rooms filled with bad fuck'en B.O, long-ass queues and only one teller or eye tester working when there are a plethora of stalls available. Don't forget the machines are all broken, people are unfriendly and do not help and every person working there looks like they wish to be somewhere else.

But we all have to venture into this adventure, so here are some tips I picked up on my journey to the dark side of the world.

Although there may be signs to not eat or drink, screw that! If I'm forced to sit in a hot room and lose water through copious amounts of sweat, then I will drink my water and enjoy it too. Hiding a bag of food or crisps in your handbag is also another handy way to avoid starvation. With all the long hours sat there, I am surprised we don't walk out the license department looking like the mummy. I cleverly hid my bag of Doritos in my bag, opened it slowly and allowed the chip-like aromas to fill the room - and wait for the people sitting next to me to peer jealously at me. Oh yes baby. It's time to chew. Remember to chew slowly as to make out that you're only chewing gum. Gum is not a food group and therefore does not qualify.

Take anti-bacterial wipes with you when doing an eye test, so as to wipe the lenses and forehead area of the machine. I swear I've acquired pink eye. My eyes are feeling a lil' bit on the itchy side. Where are the eye drops? Who knows how many stink eyes have seen those lenses, let alone how many sweaty, zitty-fied foreheads have touched that piece above the lenses. Thinking about it gives me nightmares. Hold on... going to wash my face now with the strongest anti-bacterial stuff I can find. Hold on...

...Much better.

Do as the Chinese do and wear a face mask. I think I'm getting the flu now, sneezing and sniffing. Should have worn a damn face mask to protect me from germs. I mean... in these rooms, people basically sit on you. "Hi... here is my lap, please make yourself comfy." And with close spaces like these, it's pretty much guaranteed you'll walk out with something new (and I'm not talking about your drivers licence!) These masks will also help with the smell that lingers in the air, especially when you get a waft of someone's underarm when they fan themselves with their documents. MMM..... Doritos and arm stink... a delicious combo!

But all in all, I managed to survive and renew my licence. Thank goodness it's over... I'd much rather pick up dog shit in a heatwave then suffer through that again. At least you only have to do it once every five years ... and by that time... let's hope SA will be in the technological game then and you can do it online!

Spiritual vs reality: Finding the balance

I have not written a blog for 2015 yet, but hell's bells and Lucifer's balls this is a mighty one to start with.

It's taken me pretty much my whole life and two significant years to be whacked across the face with a life lesson that would inevitably change my whole existence. Powerful stuff 'ey

In nutshell, I've always been a workaholic. I have always looked to the future, worried about life, bills, money and everything realistic in between. Then 2014 happened. And somehow in the months of this unfruitful year I became a 'hippie'. Not in the traditional sense... I did not have dreads, smoke pot or wear multi-coloured robes. (I am not judging those who live this lifestyle so please place ducktape neatly over your mouth before you comment.) What I mean is that I acquired the spiritual way of thinking that these fun-loving people possess.

Let me break it down ... In 2014, I went with the flow of the universe. I denied reality and thought that things would work out. I was living in denial thinking that the plants would feed me and the air would pay my bills. I loved being in this space which I now refer to as 'what the fuck were you thinking!?'

I went from workaholic to freelance writer. Working for myself. One day I finally smelt the burnt coffee and realised that this thinking and this lifestyle was not working for me. It wasn't. I ended up with a shit load of debt, a car that was disfunctional, walking to the shops until my heels bled, and overall in a very unhappy state.

On a journey to get my life in order I got a full time job and a stable income. I started paying off debt. Everything became crystal clear when I spoke to a friend and she spoke words of wisdom. Here's the reality bat, WHAM, BOOF, SMACK! My journey, and every painstaking step became crystal clear. Although her words grinding like cheese on a grater, there was truth. This stuck to my soul like dried Pronutro on a bowl. It forever changed my thinking, the way I saw people and their lifestyles.

I went from being a workaholic to a 'hippie'. I wanted to cram all my dogs in a van and travel the country. Pfft... yea right. It was there that I thought balance was. Wrong. It was only after I returned to work, still thinking in the spiritual way but living in reality, that I realised where balance was. Being a workaholic is one side of the polar express and being a hippie was the other. Either side did not offer balance I so unrealistically thought it did. Yes, the universe (and God) provide you for, yes there is a universal path and we must go with the flow of life, but we also have to eat, live, feed our dogs, take a shit in a toilet which we pay for. When you put your foot in the door and say "Hey, Universe I'm trying here," the universe offers so much more. The rewards are greater because you've found balance.

I am grateful to have crossed the different paths and have travelled the polar express in such an extreme way. I now see both sides of the spectrum. I can understand both the spiritual hippie and the realistic workaholic. Most people will never be able to understand or see eye to eye. It's like putting Santa Claus and the Easter bunny together... they will never find a space of understanding. But I do. I love both sides for what they are, what they have taught me. And as I continue on my path of what I now believe to be balance, I can now look positively into the future with excitement.

May you find your own balance in whatever way it may be. Grow in your spirituality, but remember that we live in a world where money is key and being a responsible being is important. Allow the universe to provide for you, but never just take. Pay it back. As much as I'd love to live on an Island and sit on the beach all day eating bananas, I'm not a monkey. Find the balance and live as a earthling and as a spiritual being. Be a part of all dimensions - balance between living on earth and in the spiritual realm.

So in closing... this was my lesson and I thank everyone and God (Universe) for helping find it. We all have different paths and love everyone for that. No judgments are placed, this is just my own personal opinion for what I have gathered and how I feel about things. But if you find truth or are offended but what I am saying, then maybe the universe is trying to tell you to find balance and if I've taught you a lesson than I am grateful for that.

Till next time monkeys,

Stay lifted, stay balanced

I know

Although there are third world countries with starving children and epidemics popping up everywhere, I still have my problems. And although they may seem insignificant when comparing the two.... everyone's problems are big to themselves. So before you read this post and think I'm a self-centred asshole, and my problems are small.... just remember that we all have problems (and you have to help yourself first before helping others.)

This post titled I know, revolves around the concept of money and what I know. No, I am not your accountant nor do I know how to budget (as how can you budget with no money esp when you can count your pennies on one hand.) This is for my fellow struggling generation who can find some humour in the frustration of not having money.

I know

I know how it feels when you have to look at the menu at a restaurant and claim you're on a diet when you order the cheapest salad on the menu.
I know how it feels when you feel cheap for asking friends to buy you drinks and fear that they will never invite the group 'hobo' to the next event.
I know how it feels when Two Minute Maggie noodles becomes your staple diet and your body starts rotting away from lack of Vit C.
I know how it feels when you run out of juice and opt to squeeze oranges into your glass of window and bullshit yourself that its Fanta.
I know how it feels when you're driving on fumes and talk to your car in the hope that it will go further.
I know how it feels when you have R10 left on your bank card and drip sweat when you try and buy eggs, hoping that the word DECLINE doesn't come up on the card machine.
I know how it feels when you go to the shops looking for the cheapest ingredients, even if it means you buy cardboard cheese puffs instead of Parmesan.
I know how it feels when you have to pick up 'stompies' in the wet garden when you have no smokes to puff on.
I know how it feels when you have R200 and have to buy dog food, human food, smokes and petrol. An impossible feat.
I know how it feels when you have to ask for money and feel your integrity and pride wash away like beach sand.
I know how it feels when your ears are raped from regular calls from debt collectors and you develop an aversion to your mobile phone.
I know how it feels when you look at your bank balance and your heart sinks with the R0.00 appear on the screen.
I know how it feels when you wear broken shoes for ages but keep reminding yourself that it broke today.
I know how it feels when someone asks you how much it is to fill your petrol tank and you respond with "I don't know, it's been a while."

But being aware of all the above has its pro's.

I know that I am proud when I get money in, when I pay a bill or buy something... knowing that I did it, me, myself and I. I'm greatful and surprized when additional money comes in. I feel that extra bit of magic and happiness when I have money to spend on something I want to spend it on. I value money more and when I become rich, or better off even, I'll appreciate it. Then the above will change to the below:

I know how it feels when I have enough money to be able to help others out and loan them money in their time of need.
I know how it feels when my debts are paid off and I no longer receive calls from those collectors.
I know how it feels when I have extra savings in my account in case something happens.
I know how it feels when I can spend money on special things that feed the soul and brighten the smile.
I know how it feels when I can buy stuff that will enhance my house, my future, my car.
I know how it feels to have the sense of pride and honour back. To no longer have to ask others for help.

To others like me who are struggling financially, we'll get there. We will.

Young dogs, new tricks

I've always worked hard. I've always believed subconsciously that I needed to work days, nights and weekends. I've done it for almost 10 years now, since the age of 18. On the verge of turning 28, this habit, now ingrained in my brain, is creating an internal stir.

In a nutshell, for the past two years specifically, I've freelanced, hopped like a rabbit from job to job, and had about five jobs at one time. With all my eggs in different baskets, I had different income streams. No, this did not mean that I was loaded and shitting money. I just had a backup plan. Although money has always been an issue, I always had comfort knowing that my next freelance job, face painting job or writing article was around the corner. That somehow, through the grace of God, I would get through the month.
However, the past two months have pushed me to go back full time. My car broke down and had to be fixed, my husband was a house husband and we were basically living off what I could bring in. In severe debt and getting tired of bread crusts and water, an opportunity came up for both of us to go back full time. It was through these past two months that I realised that living the hippie/bohemium life is not appropriate in a time where bread costs a fortune and petrol prices are making us broke. I had always strived to go against the grain, to work for myself and to make it work. But I was knocked badly with the reality stick and had to swollow some truth pills.
Now back full time and loving my job, and freelance jobs and face painting becomes something of the past, I'm feeling this restlessness. It's weird for me to have my nights and weekends free, to be able to enjoy myself and spend time with the things that matter instead of racing around on the weekend in a clown suit and looking like a complete fool. Spending nights watching TV is like sitting like the energiser bunny on full load, restless and annoying. I'm used to working nights, making my laptop my best friend instead of my family. I'm used to not looking forward to the weekend. And now, having one job, is a completely new change in my life. I am young, so I can learn new tricks. It's just an adjustment. My heart is loving this new way of life, yet my brain and my past issues, are internally screaming at me saying "you should be working like a dog! You should be compensating for your low self esteem!"

Besides the restlessness I can't seem to come to grips with the fact that I only basically have one salary coming in now. How can people be worry-free and last the whole month with only their salary, and no opportunity to bring in money for the rest of the month? Like cheese, this is foreign to me. But maybe it just requires a little common sense and budgeting. There's also that fear of being fired, which I never had as I always had something to fall back on. But maybe it's a good thing to worry, to put your all into a job that you love. To have one focus instead of being a jack of all trades. To care about something so much that it drives you to be better. After all, with my husband also bringing in a salary and my monthly expenses being reduced quiet considerably, I can survive with my income and live comfortably (I think.)

At the end of the day, this is the change my heart wanted and now that I am living the 'normal' life, maybe I can pat myself on the back and say well done for making responsible changes and choices.

Jameson Whiskey - Created for the trend setter

Stacey Rowan banishes misconceptions that whisky is only for the older generation, as presented at the Capital Market Day 2014 held in Cork, Ireland.

When one thinks of whisky, an older gentleman in an arm chair holding a whisky on the rocks comes to mind. But with Jameson Irish Whiskey, this is certainly not the case. Whisky has now evolved into something more – it has transformed into something that surpassing the age gap and is now a beverage enjoyed by the younger, hipper trendsetter. In South Africa, a change in the cultural patterns of drinking is happening and a growing emerging affluent middle class has adopted Jameson as their whisky of choice. They’re over the age of 18 and on average have an income between R16 000 to R50 000, live in a formal dwelling in a metropolitan area, own a car, have a tertiary education and have a white collar job. These DUDes, as Jameson calls them, are setting the trends and making new fads, and although Jameson is not a fad, it is most certainly trending. Now instead of the older generation drinking Jameson, one can see the plethora of younger generations sipping this fine drink at bars, restaurants and social gatherings.

With all this mind it’s no wonder why Jameson is hosting Jameson Cult Film Clubs, soon to be popping up in South Africa this year, and many other cinema and live social events, where Jameson runs freely as water running in a stream. These events are attended by some of the hot-and-happening people who are as connected to social media as paper sticks to glue. What makes this such a brilliant marketing tactic is that when attending these events, these trendsetters will regularly update their experience on Twitter and other social media platforms, indirectly promoting the brand and its legacy far and wide. The greater the buzz on social media, the greater the drink is shared in the community.

The style of drinking whisky has also transformed drastically as well, with the younger generation putting their unique spin on the drink. Out with the old and in with the new - and the emerging popularity of Jameson shots and Jameson based cocktails show just that. Bartenders across the world are creating the hippest drinks using Jameson, all of which fortunately appear on the drink menu.

South African bartenders are also providing these unique drinks to local Jameson aficionados and thirsty patrons. Jameson can be enjoyed as ‘The Emerald’, a cocktail encompassing Jameson, sweet vermouth and orange bitters. Or for the more popular drink amongst the locals, enjoy Jameson with a twist of lime and ginger. For those colder nights, with winter upon us, Jameson can be enjoyed with hot water and honey. This whisky, with its smooth taste, has the flexibility to evolve into many more future delicious concoctions, and will continue to change with the likes of the trendsetter and the younger generation. And as the movement from old to new progresses, it’s time to get the thought of whisky as an older drink out of one’s head and replace it with the thought of a popular drink consumed by the younger generation. It’s time to remove the stale notion of Jameson as a drink consumed only on the rocks and embrace it in all its new hip and happening glory.

A 5-star culinary journey through Ireland

Stacey Rowan explores Ireland through her taste buds at the Capital Market Day 2014 held in Cork and Dublin in Ireland.

Every country has its local alcoholic beverages and cuisine, its signature specialty that defines their culinary culture; and Ireland is no different. When one thinks of Ireland, whisky, Guinness, salmon, strawberries and cabbage come to mind. These were all on the menu among other delicious local ingredients at the @Jamesonexperience Capital Market Day, with Jameson Whiskey and salmon playing the key roles in making guest’s mouth salivate.

The culinary journey began at the Cornstone Restaurant in Cork, a restaurant specialising in seafood and dry aged steak. Guests were pleasantly presented with their starter of salmon, accompanied by a Jameson based cocktail. The tangy fennel created a wonderful contrast against the subtle fresh salmon fillet, with the salmon pate gently engulfing the palette and leaving a memorable aftertaste. For mains, guests enjoyed a hearty medium cooked fillet steak with a nutty sauce, and a mushroom and grilled tomato. The meal sweetly ended off a trio of desserts – sponge cake, chocolate brownie and a crème brulee to die for.

Breakfasts throughout the culinary experience combined creamy eggs, bacon and mushrooms with another large helping of fresh salmon, leaving guests energised for the day’s event. Lunch at the Jameson Experience Cork conference on Wednesday was something to be marvelled at. For starters, guests had the option of many different refreshing salads, with the salmon and rocket salad served on a black slate tile quickly being cleared. With traditional fish pie on offer, guests received a real taste of the local humble cuisine. The zucchini with strawberries and feta was also a popular choice, with mouths exploding from the tart strawberries, salty feta and sweet zucchini. Drinks were in full supply, with bottles of wine and Jameson Whiskey presented on large barrels.

Guests dined in style at the Garden Stillhouse Gala Dinner, with food being as beautifully presented as the table decor itself. First course included a mixture of salmon delights including Bantry Bay Organic Salmon Ballotine, and iced, marinated, cured and Maple Wood Smoked salmon with pickles, herbs and horseradish. This dish was certainly a master piece, with guests hesitant, but willing, to break through this culinary artwork on a plate. McGarth’s Black Angus Beef Angus, potato fondant, garden vegetables, Midleton Very rare Whiskey Beef Tea and garden herbs creatively made up the main course with flavours hitting every taste bud. Guests finished off the elaborate meal with an even more elaborate dessert consisting of a local strawberry sphere, compressed yoghurt and candy floss, almond, ginger, honey ice cream. Throughout the evening, guests had their pick of Jameson Whiskey to heighten the delicate, but distinct, flavours of the courses.

The next day another delectable lunch awaited hungry mouths at the Old Jameson Distillery in Dublin. Known for their pork, the Irish served international guests a starter of King Scallops and crispy pork belly with Buerre Blanc, herb oil and semi sundried tomatoes. The pork and the scallops were the perfect combination in all their meaty juiciness. With two options on the main course, the turbot was the most appealing and the tastes of the seared fillet of Turbot, cauliflower and saffron puree, sautéed peas and cherry tomatoes with bacon lardons certainly proved this. To end off the meal, the guest’s sweet tooth was humbled by the lemon tart with Jameson Lemon Zest Cream and berry compote – a brilliant way to showcase how this whisky can be seamlessly incorporated into cuisine . Everyone was presently surprised when they were offered a glass of Yellow Spot, a fine whisky, after their meal – a rare experience for the mouth. Wines on offer throughout the meal comprised of Brancott Estate Letter Series ‘B’ Sauvignon Blanc and Ysios Rioja Reserva 2006 – each complimenting the dishes and heightening their flavours.

To say that the 5-star cuisine experience in Ireland was extraordinary is an understatement. Each meal was designed with the guest in mind, the intention to set their taste buds on fire and introduce them into the exciting culinary world of Ireland. Each alcoholic beverage was also created with the intention to welcome guests into the world of Jameson, to experience it in all its forms and glory and to further their love for this fine whisky.

To be read 15-01-2019

Dear me,

I saw an article about how this girl wrote a letter to herself to be opened in 10 years. I thought it was a great idea. I'll do the same. But this blog post must only be read on 15 January 2019. (Hopefully computers wouldn't have transformed into something that blogs can't be read on and hopefully this blog will still exist.)

So how are you Stace? As I write this I am 27. You reading this when you are 32. Holy shit, 32! Wow... are you living the life I always thought of having when I was in my 30's? I can't wait for my 30's - stability, grounded, homely. They say 30's are your glory years? I laugh if you're reading this and you're living a nomad life like a hippie, in the middle of the tribal village in the Amazon. Am I still married to Chris? I think I would be, I hope so. Do we have children? Oh I hope so by that age. I think we'll have a baby girl by that age (she's probably between 1.5 and 2 years old, and actually... you could be pregnant with twin boys as you read this. (Wow, I wonder if my predictions are true!)

Regarding our doggies (our babies)... Lady has probably past, maybe even Harry and Sally (or they are grey and very very old). Dontay is probably nice and relaxed now, like Tyson was at the mid-age. Enzo, Milton and Odis probably wouldn't have changed a bit, although Odis is toothless and Milton is now fully homosexual. So I am guessing we're left with only four dogs as you read this?

Have you travelled? I sincerely hope you went to Bali this year (2014) like you wanted to and I sincerely hope you went to Germany sometime in the past years gone by. Or went on a volunteer program overseas with Chris?
How's Chris doing? Is he at a good job or working for himself? Right now he has this passion for cooking. So as you read this I hope he's doing some great things with cookery. Maybe he's the next Jamie Oliver or Justin Banello? Nah, I don't he would go that way. But maybe he's the Braaimaster champion that we entered? I wonder how he looks, probably still young with those beautiful brown eyes? I wonder if he'll be a house husband?
Where are you two living now? Did you ever move to Cape Town and try it out that side? What does your home look like now? Please tell me it's a big house that is homely?
And how is your debt. I shit you not, if you are not debt-free when you read this, your 27 year old self is going to jump though the screen and beat you!

Career wise? How is this going for you? Are you self-employed? An author? Writing this now (2014) I actually don't know where you will be, but I think you'll be successful. I think you'll be working less and earning a lot of passive income.

I think you'll be sitting there having learnt a SHIT load and have more life lessons under your belt. I think you'll be looking back thinking "wow, your 20's was a learning curve. Never going through that again."

As for family and friends, Leigh is probably on her second child (I think it'll be a boy), Dad and Bridge are cruising around the world on a yacht or travelling the world, Samantha is finishing off her Masters at UCT, Zayne is probably the same but sports a young baby (I think a girl), Rosie has bought a big boat and is self-employed and mom is no longer working but is spending all her time with Rosie and helping others and well family dynamics have changed but for the better. As for friends, I think you would have cut a lot of people out of your life and now have a very tight group of friends.

So to the 32 year old Stacey, as you read this just know that I (27 year old) hope everything works out for you. That you are where you wanted to be. That life treated you well. That you are, above all things, happy.

All my love,
Stace (27 year old)

The things not 'bloggered' about

So Nelson Mandela died. I did not blog about that.

As a South African, I should have. But I didn't. I only really felt the true sorrow, and simultaneous admiration, when I watched his movie. So here it is in three simple words. RIP Nelson Mandela.

New years has come and gone. I didn't blog about that. I am not bloggered. Nor did I write a review of my 2013 year, nor about my 2014 new years resolutions. And instead of doing a whole blog, it's much simpler to only say 3 simple words. Happy New year!

The thing is, with so many monumental things going on and having happened, there is so much to blog about. But frankly, right now, I am just not bloggered.

Learn to love it

We've all been in these situations.... knee deep in debt, financial problems and crap. I've been there, done that, still in it.

However, my perceptions have changed. And when you perceptions change, your reality does as well.

A wise friend told me that we have to learn to love debt - not in the way of loving financial problems - but removing the control aspect it has over us. Finally, I now understand what she meant and can see it effective in my own life. I had a brain fart!

You see, when we're in these situations of debt, it's a vicious circle:

Now I am no debt expert or financial guru, but I have learnt one or two things along this road we call "where the fuck has the money gone." Firstly, don't hide. We're not bears. We must not hide in caves. It's time to confront our money issues, phone the people we owe money to, pay something and always, always communicate. Secondly, when we confront this we lose the fear aspect. Fear has control over us like a mother to a 13 year old child. Once we lose the fear, we lose the control aspect. We no longer feel that debt is controlling us. WE CONTROL THE DEBT! And this is the biggest break through.

I got myself into debt not through ignorant excessive spending, but just by trying to live. I then went self employed and the debt mountain just kept getting bigger and bigger, closer and closer - like a giant pimple on your face that you just cannot ignore. I then went back full time - it was time to take control. You can't get out of debt if you're not getting enough money in. Through self employment I did not have enough money to pay my bills. This lead to one or two account add ups and for example, I owed Woolworths 2x monthly instalments. Thus, I could not spend on the account. This in retrospect was a brilliant universal move.

You see I tried to erase my debt but when an account was paid off, I'd just spend on it again to buy the necessities. So the amount was never going down. Now that some of my accounts are overdue by two months I cannot spend on them. It's the universe's way of saying "Stacey if you can't control your debt, we will!" Having thought about this over a smoke I actually came to see the positive side of this. No longer did I feel negative about this, what a break through! It's a blessing because if I can't spend on them, but I pay where I can, that means that debt and each account does go down - eventually.

Then when thinking of a bad ITC record or black listing (which I am far from) I no longer fear this big black dragon. Not that I choose to, but if it so happens that I do get a bad ITC record or black listed then great. I don't want anymore fuckén debt. I don't want to get more loans under my name because once my debt is clear then I won't need loans. And yes, you're probably thinking.. what about housing and cars... well, that's what husbands are for and I could always get these assets under his name. But we're jumping the gun and because of the mental state I am in now, it won't get that far. I'm just trying to see the positives in my debt, I'm trying to love it. I am trying to learn to love money.

As petrol hikes, e-tolls and food prices soar, with salaries staying the same if not lowering, it is hard to manage your debt or even to survive. But come hell or high water... you survive. Somehow you make a plan. I was even discussing with my husband last night on how we can solve each others debts/bills. Working together as a team...viewing each other's money as united. Another brain fart! The trick is to get one debt PAID OFF COMPLETELY, then the rest will roll.

So all in all, most people currently are struggling to make ends meet, to put water and crusts of bread on the table. So it's time to get money smart, get those budget spread sheets working and start taking control of the situation. Change your perception of money and learn to love the green paper. I am 27, in financial crap, but hey.. when I get out of this hell hole, I'll have learnt a whack load of lessons and will never, ever, get back into debt. Money I LOVE YOU!

I hate bush just as much as men do

I hate bush.

No, not President Bush
nor the bush found in the pubic area (I'm sure you were thinking that!)...
I hate rose bushes.

Just as a female's bush will be the suffocation of men, so will the rose bushes be the death of me.

I hate bush just as much as men do!

I live on a property where the landlords are rose-mad and God forbid if the line of white rose bushes in the front of my garden (which irritatingly block my beautiful view of the dam) die, or look odd.

They're looking odd. They're looking like someone's hair just after being electrocuted by a plug - the stalks (or properly named canes as I have learnt) are fuckén everywhere.

I have pruned (or in my mind cut with no logical direction) and hacked at these stupid plants and they're just becoming oddly shaped, crooked and bent. And no one likes anything crooked.

Now the landlords and property agent are bitching about the roses and the garden. Do I look like a 90 year old who is retired and spends her days fixing the garden and getting all wrinkled up in the sun? No. I have a life. I don't have time to be making sure that there are no leaves on the stoop, that this dead leaf is off this dying plant and that this plant is cut properly.

Do I look like fuck'en Edward Scissorhand!

Rose bushes are like high maintenance girlfriends... exhausting.

So I'll have to let the rose bushes do their own thing, let them grow and bloom and be unkempt. That's what people suggest. Sometimes its okay for things to be unkempt... well that's debatable!

If not, I'll put long blades on my hands and I'll try be Edward.. or I'll just have to get in a gardener (anyone know a gardener by the name of Edward?)

Balance

I have so much work to do... but got distracted by another blog... and decided to blog. That's what happens when you dabble in a bit of wine with the view of yachts and blogging. Damn you blogs and your stupid addiction!

In a nutshell, went to the doctor, was told I have tongue Leukoplakia (pre-cancerous cells) and have been riddled with anxiety and depression. Went to a PROPER dentist today (who didn't point a Jesus on a cross at me for being an ex-smoker) and he said I had neither. My tongue was fine, no cancer to report. Jumping around the dentist's room you would be sure that I have firecrackers up my butt. Hallelujah (As Mr Bean would sing it!).

The thing is, when someone tells you that you have a fatal disease or something that will kill you, it's like someone slapping their willy against your forehead without warning.. you become in total shock. Everything stands still and you become covered in a cloud of OH MY FUCK! It's this OH MY FUCK that turns your life around. Makes you stop doing certain things and doing others, or doing less of things and more of others. But when you're an ex-smoker, all you can think about is smoking. It's a habit and a delicious one at that. So if you don't smoke, your body is healthy but you brain is not. Who says being miserable can't affect your body? The body speaks the mind after all. So this got me thinking about balance. Balance in life is key. Too much of non-balance and you may as well fall off the cliff or the edge of the building you've been standing on for a while.

It's like too many strawberries and too little cream. It doesn't work. Too much sex will leave your vagina raw, too much drinking and you'll become the locally well-known leg spreader or drunken goose. Too much smoking and you'll get lung cancer. Too much over eating and you'll be able to hide things under your fat rolls. But people need to let go, have fun, have a juicy pastry now and then and a party here and there. We can't all live in a hole like those online gaming geeks now can we? No. That's not life and that's sure as fuck not living. Even Jesus drank wine and ate bread. And if he can do it, then so will I. But I will do it "within moderation". It's all about moderation in life, the key to life is balance.

With a scare, and a shock, I take what the Universe, or Jesus, showed me and will apply it to my life. May all of you have balance in your life. Have your custard Danish, but then have sex afterwards to burn off the calories. Have a drink now and again, but lace it with water. Mediate. Play. Work. Fuck around. But find balance in all that we do, think and say.

Here's to being the elephant that can balance on a small ball.

Driving in cars...

Lets apply the famous saying, "If a picture could paint a thousand words..." to your car.

Oh the devil beware.

My car has been around the block. She's nine years old, but has the grace and dignity of an 80 year covered in horse shit. I can not, in any means, try and excuse her outer and inner appearance on age alone. I am at fault.

Pulling out the magnifying glass...

Clue 1: It is clear by the cigarette burns on the seats of my car that she serves many a purpose. Not only as a form of transport, but also as an ash tray. The funny thing is, I am the driver of the car and there's cigarette burns on the back seat. So to those who smoke at the back of the vehicle, may I please so kindly sit in the back of your car and so carefully burn the seats WITH A BRANDING IRON!

Clue 2: Yes my car is dirty, mainly because of the dust (and because of the empty coffee cups that line the floor). But hey, I'd rather drive around in a dustbin then throw it out the car. You see... a dirty car means you are environmentally friendly. It is evident that with the tables and chairs in the back seat (even though it's a small car and it's like squeezing cheese through a keyhole) along with the laptops, books, face painting equipment and other items of different sizes that Stacey is a busy person, and one that partakes in many a things. She's also a good packer of things and could properly fit an obese person into XS spanks.

Clue 3: My car, my dear old second bedroom, has enjoyed many nights back in the day, with me passed out in it. I kept her company and she gave me a place to rest my drunken ass. Luckily there are no slobber patches or duvet covers, but the pictures of me in this comfy position will tell the tale.

Clue 4: Before I get into this clue, let me first tell you that A. I would never wear those shoes... we're not in the 1940's. 2. The chick wearing THOSE shoes would never be with a man in THOSE shoes. So, in this case... a picture tells a million lies. But back to the clue. Finger marks on the windows and a witness or two (mainly a car park guard) may tell of a few sexual actions being performed in this car, but lips are sealed. Shame, my car has played third wheel in these instances a few times. Shame, her poor eyes (or should I say head lights!)

Clue 5: Scratches against the side of the car and broken back light. This clue would naturally make one think that Stacey is a bad driver. Beep. W.r.o.n.g. This would mean that other people are bad drivers, either banging into my car and driving off, or that it was the STUPID POLES FAULT. But hey, a car always looks a bit better with a little bit of dents - it makes for uniqueness I think.

Clue 6: Broken/scratchy speakers. This would depict loud music playing, broken ear drums or heightened emotions. Yes, Stacey has partied hard in this car, listened to hard metal and hit the steering wheel when raged or deeply vexed and has sung loudly to depressing music when heart broken. My car and her once-working-properly speakers have in a sense been my therapist. Through the hard times, the good times and the fuck-off-and-die time, she's been there for me. And gratitude must also be paid to the steering wheel. I am sorry I have laid hands and fist on your, but you're resilient and can take it.

Clue 7: No treads on tyres and high km number. My car and I have travelled many a places, been through a lot, and even though you'd expect a car of her age and make - the wing wongs are known to make shit plastic cars - we're still going. Bumps and all, we're still driving on our paths creating memories.

So whilst you all are buying your zooped up new cars that are prestine inside and out, my Kia Picanto and I may not be driving in style, but we're driving with memories. And you can't put a price on that. Literally and metaphorically, she's priceless. And I love her.
So happy driving until next time, and don't forget to make memories in your car!