A fuck'en bad day

I'm irritated. I'm beyond the salvation of calmness.

You know when someone is about to burst and their face becomes bright red with anger... it's almost like you can see fumes from their head. Yup, that's me.

I've had a fuck'en bad day.

I am a structured, organised, OC person who needs things done in a particular way. In business, things need to be flowing in a particular process. Being streamlined means being successful.

I came from a job that was structured. A little too structured for my liking. Now I've moved to a job where structure does not exist.

I thought this would be a good move.

I thought this would help make me calmer, more relaxed and less structured. It's like I have changed from complete polar opposites.

Where's the balance? I need balance. I need a job that doesn't treat you like a pupil in school, nor one that doesn't give two shits.

Maybe there's some universal lessons here.

Maybe I have no seen both sides to structure. No structure & too much structure. Now I know what to look for.

Today has been a hard day.

Not only have a changed positions to take on a further 10 positions all in one - and no, I am not exaggerating, but the person who I have taken over from, has left me in the dark and standing in knee-high shit. So, on top of trying to update everything, I also have to deal with the current workload.

I am egotistical when it comes to work. I know I am damn good and can handle more than the average worker. But still!

It's not the workload that is bothering me so much, it's the way things are done - put simply, the structure. As I said early, I am structured and like to work in a structured environment but it's like I am trying to push a wall here. No one is helping or trying to help the progress - I mean, come on people!

I feel like there is no point in trying. It's like I'm trying to make a bent stick straight -impossible.

I'm at my wits end.

Ad you just wait.... I've been holding back my tongue but once the bitch comes out - fuck'en run!!!

There's these arogant people, that are younger than I am trying to act as if they are better than I am. It's called R.E.S.P.E.C.T people! Don't act like you know more than I do fuck face - coz I am far knowledgeable than you. And don't for one second make snappy or sarcastic comments when I am trying to make send of the dump you have left me in and trying to sort out problems that you, without a doubt, caused by you.

I need to go home.

I'm about to crack.

Just breathe..

I'm going home. I need to be in my own home.

Maybe I need a hot bath?

Tomorrow is another day.