Uninspired Transition

I woke up this morning with two words popping into my head immediately: 'Uninspired' and 'Unmotivated'. I lay on the couch, for 10 minutes thinking about these concepts and how my life seemed to be in a rut. This rut, in a sense, causing me to feel both.

It started last night - the overwhelming-ness of it all. The agent is coming around on Thursday to take pictures, so I'm trying to get everything sorted before then. But, the thing is - the more I look at the things that need to be done, the more I notice more things that need a fix up. I'm getting anxious about whether or not everything will be done in time, and if the place will actually sell.

Where's my anxiety pills?

I think what is happening in my life currently, is the fact that I'm getting overwhelmed in every aspect of my life. I'm almost snowed-under, on the verge of sinking. It's like I'm in water and the only thing sticking out is my nostrils. Scary. I just want to lie in bed, cover my head and run away from it all. but I can't.

Change is good but during the transition, you don't know if you are coming or going. It's like everything is up in the air. Work, moving houses, face painting jobs and money are all becoming a bit to much to handle. I need to adopt the following thinking: I am only one person. Take everything one small step at a time.

This flu also doesn't seem to be buggering off either.

This too shall pass.

I'm also craving cigarettes. It's making me edgy. (I even had a fight with chris about Almond ice cream - I mean for fuck sakes.)

This too shall pass.

As, like most humans who cannot not be tempted by sin, I have not gone Cold Turkey. I am realistic. I had 4 1/2 / 5 cigs yesterday - for the wholllleeeeeeeeee day and night ...... the whole 24 hours. This is damn good for me. Today I only brought 3 cigs to work. Every day - I'm hoping will get a bit easier - but I am still trying to quit.

This too shall pass.

Although, funnily enough - the day today seems to be getting better as it goes on. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I'll get there. It'll all work out.

If not, where's the cigs?