Life as I know it...

I'm moving in two days. Oh hairy balls!

I haven't had time to do anything, let alone fart. Seriously.

No, the boxes above are not mine - I haven't even started. Again... oh hairy balls!

I have to start tonight.

Well at least I've done the following:

- Arranged the carpet cleaner to come in..... check
- Arranged the cleaner to come in ......... check
- Got boxes and sticky tape to close them ........ check

Oh dear, this weekend is going to be ab-so-lute madness. Juggle moving with a thousand and one face painting jobs and what you get is a mess. A cock up!

I swear, everything comes at once. At least one of the face painting jobs is for a top club - yup - Noddy badge for me!

I also cut my hair. Gone with his hair!
From half way down my back, it's now above my shoulders and I love it. No more spending hours trying to comb the multitude of knots that infested my 'hair' or birds-nest. Yes, this hair is more fitting for my age. Me likey.

I have also been the proud owner of an eye infection. I rocked up at the eye doctor and said "I have no money, can you please help me" - how's that for cheap? But it's on the mend and I no longer have to walk around with something that resembles pink eye.

Work is hectic. Beyond hectic. Overwhelmed is putting it lightly.

I feel like I am living three separate lives at the moment. Everything is disorganised and up in the air. I think once I move, the seas will calm and everything will be great.

I am looking very forward to moving. A new change, a nice new beginning.

Just hope I can get my head around this whole moving thing ... shit, there's a lot to do. One thing at a time Stacey... one thing at a time.

So all in all, life as I know it - is a mess, but a good mess.

Searching

I'm searching for something.

I feel like I'm not all here, as if my soul is somewhere else.

I can't be in the moment, I can't focus - I feel as if my brain is time traveling. It's traveling the Atlantic ocean at the moment.

I am not here. This is not me.

I'm searching for something.

I'm not Stacey - I am just a lost soul.

A soul that doesn't even know what it is looking for.

What am I searching for?

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Perfuna

I got the most beautiful surprise yesterday from Chris.

A purple orchid. (not the image as shown, it doesn't give her justification. She should be a model she is so beautiful. Photo shoot here we come.)

Now this is not the same surprise as a women receiving the run-of-the-mill bunch of rotting flowers from Spar. This was, and is, something special.

Now, let it be known that I love orchids.

My fascination started when I went to my Reiki class, and my Reiki teacher had an orchid on her table, amongst other spiritual items. For me, orchids are a spiritual plant. There is this energy around them.

I have Mr Bhudda and now I have Perfuna. My spiritual collection is growing. I always envisioned having a spiritual room with my Mr Bhudda and Perfuna, my orchid.

Yes, I have named her. (She is a she)

Purple + Flora = Perfuna. It's the perfect name.

It suits her.

What makes the surprise even better is that I looked on the tag and it said 'Butterfly Orchid'. Now, butterflies symbolise change and transformation. Something that I am continually doing - transforming...

Yes, one may think I am going overboard about an orchid. But I am not.

It's the meaning behind it, the meaning makes this gift so significant.

Babe, it is the perfect gift - thank you.

I love you.

three

My lucky number is three.

Things come in three's. Bag things.

You know how the saying goes...


1. Mother fucker

On my way to a work event at night - in the most dodgiest place in the whole world, I had an attempted smash and grab. He, who does not deserve a name, nor a description - came from my side (I was driving) and squeezed himself through the window like a piece of cheese through a key hole. Thank fuck Chris was in the car. My "helpy helperson". 'It' tried to grab Chris's phone. Luckily my night-in-shining-armour fought 'it' off. I don't care if my window is open, or I am standing naked with all my 'doors' (both meanings apply) open - it doesn't give any right to be violated. For fuck sakes...

2. Karma will get 'ja

I had R350-00 stolen out of my wallet on Saturday from a relatives house. I got that money from a job I did a few hours before so didn't even have time to fucken smell the notes. I won't curse you or beat the living shit out of you (I know who you are) as Karma will bite you in the ass. Just amazes me that I have to protect my belongings anywhere and everywhere I go - yup, from now on I am bathing with my purse, having sex with my purse on my arm...you get the point.

3. Car accident

If things come in three's - does this pertain to others who are close to you? My two friends were involved in a car accident on Saturday night. Thank God that they weren't hurt too bad.

Okay - so my three's have come and gone (here's for hoping)

Is three, for me, lucky after all?

Ducks in a row

It's official. I am getting my ducks in a row.

It's a good feeling.

I finally, after much trepidation, submitted my tax return. Eeeekkk! Having a business, I get some income from that which is visible on my bank account. I hope I do not get a penalty or get into trouble. But, in all fairness, I think the 'tax man' has bigger fish to fry and will not check every person in the country. Well, I truly hope not. Now, I am not one for forgo my rightful duties as a tax payer and law abiding citizen, and don't intentionally hide some of my income from 'the debt collector'. But, I don't see why my extra income, which is actually under the normal level for business profit, should be noted.

To me tax returns are "adult" things. For me, its confusing. It's like trying to navigate to Mozambique without a map. I filled in what I could, then closed my eyes and pressed 'return'.

Well, at least that's taken care of.

Then 'foxy box', my car, is in for service today. Shame, she's so over due. She'll get fixed, scrubbed up and cleaned. Yes, this will cause a dent in my pocket, but it has to be done.

Another thing on the list of things to do... tick.

I've now got a designer to design my business website now too. Slowly but surely I am getting all my business legalities and admin sorted. It's time to get serious Stacey!

Another thing checked and ticked...

I'm also trying to get my 'fat' ducks in a row. I've noticed that some of them are putting on weight, so its out with the fatty foods and in with the healthy ones. I also have a bladder infection or thrush (which may have been caused by the lube I tried after Sexpo) - so its yoghurt, yoghurt, yoghurt! Burning urine and itchy fanny be gone!

For me now, its just about getting one fuck'en duck in a row at a time...!

Meeting Charlie @ Sexpo

* Warning *

This blog contains words of a sexual nature and should not be viewed by anyone with sensitive eyes, or anyone who is of a parental role in my life (unless you don't mind viewing your own daughter in this way).

Viewing of this blog is at your own discretion.

This blog is rated 18 SNL.

* Warning *

I am virgin when it comes to sexpo. I broke my virginity this year.

I wasn't interested in the event itself, more on the products.

Now, as any female would, I was always interested in getting a vibrator or dildo. Yes I have Chris, who is fullfilling under the covers, so I just wanted to see what one would be like.

Curiosity killed the cat.

Whilst looking through the wide range of products available at Sexpo, including anal beads, dildos, strap ons, lube, pocket pussies (the list could go on, and on, and on - as long as some of the dildo's I saw), I came across Charlie.

Charlie is my new vibrator. Everyone meet Charlie.

I can't explain what he looks like, but I'll show you what he doesn't look like...

He doesn't look like this...



He doesn't look like this either... (This would burn)



Nor like this...



Definitely not like this... (This would surely break me)



Chris, Harry, Sally, Charlie and I will make a happy family - he is the new addition to our family. Whether or not he will be used, or just gather dust in the cupboard, only time will tell. Maybe he was a once off experience, as nothing is better than the real thing. I'm glad to say, that I Stacey Rowan, have bought a vibrator.

I also got some other treats - yes, I decided to spoil myself. (I don't buy myself clothes, but I buy myself sex toys. )

Everyone has got to have a naughty draw - or else you're just a prune.

But, at the end of the day - Charlie is no competition for Chris. Yes, Chris, your penis is still my no one sexual device!

And that's that!

(P.S. - My ultimate job would be to be a sex columnist. So, if you're wondering why I am a pervert and writing about things of a sexual nature, don't read my blogs. If you feel I am a sin, pray for me. But if you are a normal sexually curious human being, of which most of us are, enjoy more sex blogs coming soon!)