Smurf: too unrealistic even to be a fairytale

I watched the Smurf movie last night.

Yes it's a cute movie, and entertaining, but I spent the whole time analyzing how unrealistic this movie is. Yes it's a fairytale, but it's so unrealistic that it falls short of even being a fairytale. Fairytales at least have equal men and woman, societal roles and good and evil.

Any child, after watching this movie, is bound to be royally screwed up.

It paints a inaccurate reinterpretation of life and society.

Child: "Wow mom, I want to live in a land where there are 99 men and ONE female."

Mom: "Sorry son, only in the Smurf world"

Child: "Wow dad, I want to live in a land where there are 99 young people and ONE old person. We can be young forever."

Dad: "Only in the Smurf World"

Child: "Wow mom, I want to live to 556 years, like papa smurf does."

Mom: "You'd have to have a smurf body for that. Better yet, become a smurf!"

With Smurfette being the only female, I think the Papa Smurf gave birth to all 99 smurfs. Yes in this 'realistic' movie I think Papa Smurf also has a fanny. It's possible, you know, in the Smurf world!

... I kept trying to figure out WHAT type of animal the smurf was.

A smurf has a bunny tail, but is not a bunny?
A smurf have un-proportioned feet, but does not topple over?
A smurf has a chest, but no belly button or nipples?
Blue. Really?

Yes, any child seeing a smurf is bound to have a weird idea of the human body. And if the saying - "big feet, big dick" - is true, then these smurfs would have penises the same size as their bodies!? Yet their white pants seem to have no lump or protrusion? Wow, I think all big-dicked men should get the smurfs underpants!
And on top of that smurfette is a woman, but has no boobs? How can one differentiate between the sexes (besides Smurfette's blonde hair). But in speaking of that - blonde hair on a blue animal? Really?

I'm still boggled about this movie.

Maybe I should stick to Snow white, or some other 'normal' fairytale. At least in Snow white there may be dwarfs, but they are clearly men and just plain midgets.

Hachiko

There's only a few movies that get deep inside your soul and make you ponder about things, or cry a million tears.

Hachiko is one of them.

"Hachikō (ハチ公?, November 10, 1923–March 8, 1935), known in Japanese as chūken Hachikō (忠犬ハチ公?, was an Akita dog born on a farm near the city of Ōdate, Akita Prefecture,[1] remembered for his remarkable loyalty to his owner, even many years after his owner's death.

This is Hachiko below.

Everday he would go with his owner to the train station to see him off to work, and would wait for the owner at the train station to return. This was every day. When his owner died (when Hachiko was 1 or2) Hachiko would go to the train station and wait for his owner (who would sadly never return) - this happened for 9 or 10 years.

And whats even more moving is that this is a TRUE story.



It's just profound to see how amazing a dog can be - the loyalty shown. It's beyond incredible. This movie should be the poster movie for all animal welfare centres and shelters - seeing this would make any pet-hater, fall in love with dogs and adopt them.

This makes me look at all my dogs and appreciate them more.

I said to Odis - one of my dogs - "you better be this loyal to me."

Yes... we hate sad movies that involve dogs - but just watch this movie. Although it's sad it confirms why you love your pets and why they are so special.

Yes - definately going in the best movies category for me!

Sticking to my guns

After many hard knocks to the chest and a broken soul – I need to reassess. With Stace-Face Face Painting’s job taking a turn for the worst over the past few weeks – a cake mess up (fuck you stupid baker); refund here, refund there, and a crap comment from a client – I need to reassess the business.

No longer will I take on too much; offer client’s too much for the price of nothing; discount my services to suit their budget; take on jobs I’m not comfortable with; no longer leave a job feeling like I didn’t do it well; or take on jobs that I don’t know what to do. I’m going to stick to what I know best. Boys – I’m ‘a gonna stick to me’ guns.

This one random old guy said to me: When it comes to your business and your clients say to them: “You want me, I don’t want you.”

Fucken bulldoze me over and make me smack my face in a pile of shit – that saying is brilliant!

With the business, I am going back to basics - starting from the foundation and building it up again. Wow - you really learn a lot in having your own business - I've once again had a business brain wave.

Baby Pool for two

Fuck stress – it can kiss my white ass hi-knee. Literally! I showed my white ass and full body (bikini hindering of course) on Sunday. (Well, especially showed it when I took off my bikini top off and flashed the orchard… the trees were shocked, so shocked that some of their branches fell off – well not that shocked.)

I’ve been so stressed lately, so tight-arsed that I swear, you could stick a carrot up my bum and it would stay. Over worked and hypothetically loosing my hair, I decided to fuck it all. So out came the two deck chairs, whiskey and ginger ale, cheapy R5 chocolate ice creams and my kiddies swimming pool (I use it for my business). There sat Chris and I, in our big garden soaking in the sun. It was one of the most relaxing days of my life – seriously. I was so relaxed that was even had sex three times that day. Yes parents – your daughter was a horn dog on Sunday. So I’ve realised that when I am relaxed, my sex drive increases – an epiphany for all woman.

Yes – we may not have the beach or a proper pool, but our little blow up pool did the trick. And hey, I caught a slight tan – I mean burn. I have a teardrop red mark on my stomach. The first time my stomach has ever seen the day of light. Speaking of the day of light – my pubic hair also got a glimpse of the daylightt. Yes it’s Summer – I now need to shave. Don’t judge – I am sure, with Winter having just been, that you have a forest under your belt too. Who cares – Chris still finds me sexy.

But hey – it was great to have a day off – a day were, for the first time, I actually REALLY relaxed. Thank you babe (Chris) for making me realise that life is not all about work and stressing your balls off. It’s about quality time with you and your loved one. Even if it’s in a tiny pool where you feel like you are basically bathing.

Bring on the gardening tools

Happy days - I found me a gardener.

No longer with these spring onions in the flower bed just in front of my porch make me nauseous with it's stink. No longer will the weeds continue to take over the entire garden, or the dogs poos continue to stare at me with their brown faces, or the garden look shabby and untidy.

Being a workoholic I don't have the time to do the garden or maintain it, and being the size that it is - Chris (my NOW fiance) can't do all of it himself.

So introducing GOLI - our new gardener. Very efficient he is.

So off to the hardware store and nursery I went (a place foreign to me and rarely visited) - bring on the gardening tools. I bought a rake, spade, fork, flowers and lavender.

Goli, in the one day he has been here as fixed the place up. I was jumping around the whole time - so excited. I love efficient people. I love that my garden is starting to look nice. A country garden to match my country cottage is coming along nicely.

I'll be the frequent visitor now at the nursery. This can actually turn out to be a hobby. But an expensive one at that - for something that grows out of the earth: plants are very expensive.

We had our first SA Summer rains this weekend. Followed by hail (SA's version of UK's snow.) But all this rain will make my flower babies grow. Grow babies grow! But, oh dear, the more growing the more mowing. Goli where are you? We need you.

Dream garden, here we come.