Fuck stress – it can kiss my white ass hi-knee. Literally! I showed my white ass and full body (bikini hindering of course) on Sunday. (Well, especially showed it when I took off my bikini top off and flashed the orchard… the trees were shocked, so shocked that some of their branches fell off – well not that shocked.)
I’ve been so stressed lately, so tight-arsed that I swear, you could stick a carrot up my bum and it would stay. Over worked and hypothetically loosing my hair, I decided to fuck it all. So out came the two deck chairs, whiskey and ginger ale, cheapy R5 chocolate ice creams and my kiddies swimming pool (I use it for my business). There sat Chris and I, in our big garden soaking in the sun. It was one of the most relaxing days of my life – seriously. I was so relaxed that was even had sex three times that day. Yes parents – your daughter was a horn dog on Sunday. So I’ve realised that when I am relaxed, my sex drive increases – an epiphany for all woman.
Yes – we may not have the beach or a proper pool, but our little blow up pool did the trick. And hey, I caught a slight tan – I mean burn. I have a teardrop red mark on my stomach. The first time my stomach has ever seen the day of light. Speaking of the day of light – my pubic hair also got a glimpse of the daylightt. Yes it’s Summer – I now need to shave. Don’t judge – I am sure, with Winter having just been, that you have a forest under your belt too. Who cares – Chris still finds me sexy.
But hey – it was great to have a day off – a day were, for the first time, I actually REALLY relaxed. Thank you babe (Chris) for making me realise that life is not all about work and stressing your balls off. It’s about quality time with you and your loved one. Even if it’s in a tiny pool where you feel like you are basically bathing.
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