Preggers with a BRAN child

This is what I have been eating.

Right Start Fibre Plus (Crunchy bran sticks).... "for your digestion"

...more like "for your bloating, stomach cramps and loose stools."

Don't get me wrong - it's delicious and I personally like the brand (although my stomach will disgree.)

Trying to eat healthy - I have been having this and rye bread for the past two weeks.

I think I am pregnant with a 'bran' child. How about this... I'll call the child Fibre. That seems more than appropriate.

In all seriousness - I have taken a pregnancy test today at work thinking that I could be pregnant. Negative.

I have been to the toilet about 20 times today - urinating. And 3 times for a number 2. (Yes, on my blog you will here about my bowel movements)

I am so bloated, have 'period' pains although I am not due on until a week, and have weird bowel movements.

All signs point to pregnant but nope, it's just a 'bran' child.

Who knew that fibre monster could make you feel like you have a cork up your bum (even though you still go to the loo) - yes, no one tells you the side effects of too much fibre. But, too much of a good thing, is a bad thing.

I think I have overdosed on fibre.

On that note...

.....I'm hungry - time for another bowl of high fibre bran.

Zayne, cheers to you

This calls for a celebration...

Zayne, my brother, has experienced enlightenment and has become aware of the universe and all the spirituality within it.

He went to a meditation course. Result = a happy person.

I am so excited for him, you have no idea. I have always been a spiritual person and its beyond awesome to know that my brother has been enlightened too.

So Zayne a quick cheers to you my buddy! May you receive all the love and light you deserve. 'Tis he're a new world me matie!'

Not only is he now in a spiritual 'space' at the moment, but I am very much in one now (I am always spiritual but this time, spirituality is clear with all its signs and I can visible see them.) Things are happening, clear signs from above.

My status on Facebook today said: "A lot of good things can happen within one day.. along with many good changes." I didn't just say this, I actually felt it (and there's a huge difference) Then, what happens - something good happened (and no, I am not about to discuss this on my blog as I don't want particular people to read it.)

Another spiritual incidence happened last week, something bad happened and I asked the universe to grant me with a 'solution' and on the SAME day it came.

Sign, after sign, after sign....

It's like I am travelling around and I can feel the energy moving, I can feel my life changing (And no, I am not some crazy nut case)

Cheers to the universe, the 'signs' and everyone who is blessed enough to see the light....

Pura Luhur UluWatu

Above is the image I have on my Desktop.

Meet my December Holiday 2011.

Pura Luhur UluWatu Temple - Bali.

It is on my desktop to constantly remind me that this is where I AM going in December.

I don't know how I am going to get there, how I am going to afford it or any of the final details. All I know is that I am going. I feel it in my gut.

This post's purpose is so that I can look back, when I am in Bali, and think "Shit, I did it. Manifestation works and if you believe in something, it really does happen."

You will have to be spiritual to believe this when I say it, but, in this circumstance it not like just saying "I am rich" - yet not feeling it. I feel this. I know I will be there. (Sleeping in the rain on palm leaves and riding in mosquito-riddled taxis with people that smell of BO.)

I will stand in the same spot (although I don't know if the apes will be there this time round) and take the exact picture as above.

Watch, this time next year - I will post the same blog with my own image.

Curves

Noddy badge for me - I am joining the gym.

Curves here I come.

I signed up today and will have my first appointment - where the people show me the ropes - on Saturday morning. Then it's hitting the gym three, or more, times a week.

I do love my curves, but I love Curves more.

It's time!

It's time to start eating healthy and working out.(I found varicose veins on my legs and realised that I ain't getting any younger.)

Monday night - Salad (although I loathe the stuff)
This evening - Sweet potato and chorizo soup (A recipe by Jamie Oliver.... Jamie eat your heart out.)
Wednesday night - Pea and ham soup

It's all about the nutritional value.

Guess what - we found pomegranates in a tree in the estate. Do you even know the amount of nutritional value in a single pomegranate? This is all very exciting.

Let's hope my enthusiasm doesn't run out and I end up stuffing my face with a whole chocolate cake, whilst vegetating, in a week...

Crabsticks

As a firm believer in Karma (what you give out comes back to you), I believe it has bitten me in the ass.

...Recall my previous blog 'Turkey Skin' - where I gave my sister a beatin' about tanning too much.

The day after I went yachting.

Now, Stacey's legs NEVER tan (or so I thought)

I covered my back with sun screen and there sat Stacey with an umbrella covering her top half. I did want to get some some sort of colour on my opaque legs so left them out to be a-washed with Vit D.

Minutes passed... no tan
Hours passed... no colour

Nightfall came - RED! BURNT!

Let me repeat that: RED! BURNT!

Funny how tan's only reveal themselves at night... slimey fuckers.

The best way to describe the colour is a crabstick.

Now I love crabsticks - they are so delicious... I am obsessed with them.

But in no way do I want them on my legs thank you very much.

Below is an image of my leg.

(Please note that this in no way gives justification to the severity of the burn or the redness of the colour.)

PS: Look at the line on the thigh (of which I might point out that my thigh is leaning on a chair which makes it look fatter)



See how the redness is only on the top part. I stupidly only tanned the front, so the back is still white.
If you look at my leg from the side, the clear line between the red and the white is clearly evident - bring on the fuck'en crabstick.

So there sat, or should I say lay, Stacey on News Years eve with Sun Stroke... in bed.. going delirious. The pain was unbearable. Instead of copious amounts of booze that was I was supposed to consume that evening at a party, yet others had the lucky fortunes of consuming, Stacey had copious amounts of wet towels, moisturizer creams, pain killers and burn relief ointment.

It's been 4 days and I can still feel the pain and my skin is still reddish.

Oh look, tiny blisters are forming. Bring on the peeling.

I am still of the belief that fuck the 'turkey skin' - I'll never do that again.

However a further insight to this belief:

'Crabsticks: good for eating, bad for the legs.'

Turkey Skin

Introducing turkey skin...

No, I am not referring to the skin on your Christmas turkey (how convenient as we are in the Christmas season and you are all stuffing your faces with it.)

Introducing this turkey skin...



I am sure you have all met this old granny in the movie 'There is something about Mary.' I must say how attractive she is with her saggy tits and wrinkly skin (on her face and neck,... in fact all over!) Yes, I am sure she gets some male pants rising.

This granny should be the poster child for tanning - surely she would be able to entice people to lather themselves with mountains of oil and roast themselves continuously in the sun. (See, as depicted above, she still has the ability to carry this out very well... even in her old age.)

I warn people about her.

One person in particular - my sister.

Leigh: I am going to get my Kim Kardashian tan on
(*PLEASE NOTE that she is Armenian by the way - they are natural olive skinned)

Stacey: Be careful or else you will end up with turkey skin

Leigh: I use loads of SPF 30

Stacey: With the sun, and global warming, that won't make a difference (*I didn't say that to her, but thought it)

Stacey: You look like Winnie Mandela (No racist inclination intended here - just getting the point across that my sister is Caucasian, yet with her tanning, is borderline black)

Leigh: More like Beyonce

Leigh: Well your uncle is Powder

Now, you all know Powder - that white, I mean opaque, man in the movie 'Powder'.

Introducing (below) my uncle, Powder...



I am proud to be related to this man (note the sarcasm that he is my uncle)

Yes, I would admit that my skin is so white and opaque that it reflects when the sun hits it. I am proud of that.

I don't intentionally tan. EVER. NEVER HAVE. NEVER WILL.

Even in the Summer season as we are in now and the sun is always out, I stay in doors. OK, I'd admit, I lay in the sun for 5 minutes today (trying to get some sort of colour on my legs) - but as the sun touched my white-ass skin, it bounced back. OK, 5 minutes - that's enough for me.

I'd rather look like powder now, so that later when I'm 90 I'll look wrinkle free, like Snow White's sister. Wasn't Snow White the fairest of them all (implying how beautiful she was.)

Yes, Snow White seems like a better option! And in saying that, yes, I'll leave the turkey skin to the actual turkey.

Christmas Dinner on 30 Dec

Yes, I know I am far behind on the Christmas agenda.

(PS: Merry Christmas to you all you blog followers.)

It's the day before New Years and I am celebrating Christmas once again.

Bring on the stuffed turkey (with its 10 000 calories), roast potatoes and veg. (No these are not the left overs from the 25 Dec Christmas) And yes there is a plastic crown to wear on my head and a cracker to crack (I didn't have one of those on Christmas.)

I am excited.

Whose feastin' tonight?