Having fun whilst saving

After mindless tv watching, I came across the most bing boggling show.

EXTREME COUPONING.

It's my new hobbie. My new favourite thing, along with salad and Drostohof wine.

These people buy BULK and with copious amounts of coupons, they end up saving 97% or more on their purchase. One lady bought products for about 800 dollars and only paid 40 dollars. Better yet, this other woman bought products for 3000 dollars and only paid 87 dollars.

Mind boggling. I think yes.

Going through these people's houses is like walking through their very own Pick n Pay? Rows and rows of products. ROOMS of products.

I wish South Africa was like the USA. Bet the only coupons we probaby get are saving 50c on R27.00 (no value there); coupons are also very few and far between. And to put another damper on my hope, SA coupons have expiry dates - lasting about a week (or if you're really lucky, about a week and a day.)

So how can I, living in SA, be an extreme couponer with there is this drought of coupons? And with food prices icreasing at the speed balls shrink in cold water, these coupons are needed. And needed bad. We're having to resort to beans on toast.

Best me putting my investigator hat on and being Sherlock Holmes. Need to research this. Maybe their are free coupon sites? I don't think it's worthwhile if I have to BUY a newpaper to get a coupon from it. It equals itself out.

But seriously, if I can become an OCD extreme couponer and save bucks, then hell's yes.. pass me the reigns! Better yet, if I get bucket loads of products and have my own Pick n Pay in my home, I'll ge family and friends to come and buy products from me (of course at a cheaper rate then the actual store prices) and then make some money.

This could actually become a business!

I could also donate to charities. Everyone wins! Besides those big food conglomerates - but hey, they rip us off anyway.

This is all just too exciting. I'm off to check the sites!
Call me - Stacey: South African -extremecouponerwannabe-Sherlock Holmes.

Down and out

I'm in a dark place.

As I write this ball of water is rising out of my stomach, up my throat and is about to burst out of my eyes in a million tears.

For the past few days it's the usual:

Cry. Mood swing. Cry. Mood swing.

I seriously think I am battling depression. This dark cloud keeps hovering over me like a bad smell.

I feel lost. With no direction one doesn't want to put a step forward. So they just stand. In the same spot. For a long period of time.

There is no black or white in this hole. It's just grey.

I am lost in my life. I don't feel me.

I'm stressed as hell; sad as ever and feel like a drifting soul... a zombie that just walks.

I keep praying. I think of a positive thought and immediately it's murdered by a negative one.

I want to feel normal again.

Pick me, pick me

Tanya and Charl,

Pick me, pick me to be one of your columnists or writers.

It's not every day you have someone who has the big enough balls to phone you up - on your cell 'nog al - and say the words 'penis', 'orgasm' and 'shit', whilst asking to be one of your writers. But hey, in the same breath, it's not every day you find editors of a top magazine returning your call. Pretty impressive I'd say. Noddy badges all round.

This is my blog. As Google sent me an email a while back stating that my blog was too much of a 'sexual' nature, I had to remove all content that was rude, explicit or ones that resembled the slight notion of explaining a ball hair - and now there are no longer sexual blogs. So I regretfully have to tell you that you won't be able to read about the 'Attack of the hairy vag' - one of my top viewing blogs.

But here are some blogs which might arouse you. Google has not seemed to track these ones down as yet.

http://thisismetakeitorleaveitlessonslearnt.blogspot.com/2010/12/turkey-skin.html

http://thisismetakeitorleaveitlessonslearnt.blogspot.com/2010/10/meeting-charlie-sexpo.html

http://thisismetakeitorleaveitlessonslearnt.blogspot.com/2010/06/men-irrational-apes.html

http://thisismetakeitorleaveitlessonslearnt.blogspot.com/2010/08/chicken-bjs.html

http://thisismetakeitorleaveitlessonslearnt.blogspot.com/2010/08/wheat-grass.html

http://thisismetakeitorleaveitlessonslearnt.blogspot.com/2011/08/feminity-in-nature.html

As discussed on the telephone, I am very blunt, open-minded, masculine brained and to the point. I like to write about the things that are publically shunned, although house wives and proud dads like to read secretly in the bathroom whilst pretending to poo.

I speak from personal experience when it comes to gender, sex, men, women, genitalia, relationships and other tantalising topics. This is then layered with humour, sarcasism, wit, locality and rhetorical questions. My writing style is like the perfect penis - long and flowing; neat and trimmed from far observation and detailed upon closer inspection. And when writing about conservative matters, the style is like an uncircumsised penis - noticably 'covered'.

I am looking for the perfect platform to write. As Carrie from 'Sex and the City' writes a column, so do I - but a better one. Give me a shot. Take a chance.

And if you do decide to take me on board, 'The best is yet to cum.'

Welcome to the world Riley!

My sister gave birth to the most amazing miracle on 18 March 2012, Riley.

Her baby boy, my nephew, is beautiful beyond words.

Pinch me, it's still so surreal.

I could sit and stare at him for hours.

As the newest addition to the family, he has so much support and love already.

Thank you Lord for bringing him into this world; thank you for his safe arrival and may he always be loved and cared for.

Farming is hard

There are pro's and con's to every lifestyle.
Pro's and con's of living in the city; and pro's and con's to living on a farm.

You do have hard days on the farm. With having many animals on the farm, there will be many deaths.

Another chicken of ours, Herbert the rooster, was killed today by our dogs. So that brings the number of chicken's down to ONE.

It's another hard day on the farm. Funny how it's raining too.

And sad how he was just beginning to crow.

RIP herbert - we love you.

Do I look like a criminal to you?

Dealing with insurance is like speaking to a police man.

They make you feel bad,as if you in the wrong and therefore should go to jail.

Being robbed, we had to go through the insurance company and the assessors. They came, they saw, they questioned.

When I first signed up they asked me questions like:
"Is there a security watch group in your area?"
"Do you have burglar bars on all non-opening windows?"
"Are you home all the time?"

I answered as best as I could.

But with these insurance companies, there is no grey. It's either black or white; its either a yes or a no - which is bull.

I have 70% burgular bars on non-opening windows.

Assessor: "NOT ON ALL WINDOWS, so we will just have to tell the insurance company that what you first stated is wrong."
Stacey: "But I have on MOST windows, so can't you add that in."
Assessor: "But not on ALLLLLL windows."

I am mostly at home.

Assessor: "But you say you sometimes have to go out. So we will just have to tell the insurance company that you are only at home at night."
Stacey: "But I am here every morning and most of the time."
Assessor: "But unless you're a house wife or have a full time made then that doesn't count."
STacey: "So what - I must be home every minute of every day, and can't even step outside to go take the garbage out?"

We have a security watch group in the area.

Assessor: "So you say you have a watch group, but you don't belong to security group?"
Stacey: "There is a security company opposite the road from us. There is a security guard who walks around the farm and there is a watch group called Skeerpoort watch. And I never said I BELONG to anyone."
Assessor: "Well we are going to have to tell the insurance company then as you say you belong to someone but you don't."

Yes, I believe this woman was doing her job and it's good to know she was so efficient, but I have a problem when it comes to you questioning me and not understanding what I was saying. YOU ARE MAKING ME OUT TO BE A CRIMINAL, LIAR AND FRAUDSTER.

I am paying for this service, so dammit treat me like a normal human being, and not question me as if I am a criminal.

The thing I have come to realise with these people is that they don't like to insure those who have a bigger risk. So the less security you have, the more you pay per month.

But seriously, if I lived in a fort and had the lochness monster swimming in my river that surrounds my house - do you honestly think I would get insurance. Hell to the no.

Back to the stoneage

So since the robbery, I haven't had my own laptop, or my personal stuff which was on it, for 7 days. It sucks ostrich poo balls.

I have resorted to paper. I am working on paper, drawing calenders on paper and no longer working on technological devices. Feels like I am in the stoneage.

I feel lost without it, but having my A4 exercise book to write in actually doesn't make the wound to bad.

Can't wait to be in the 21st century again when I get my new laptop. The stoneage is boring. Although it's nice to know that I don't need my laptop for everything and that my book won't be stolen. I mean, who steals paper?

At least I'll be used to having no technology when Dec 21 hits and all technology is destoyed and it's the end of the world as we know it. Then I'll welcome the stone age and all it's paper.

Can you say itchy?

Now how do I put this so it is approriate and in no way rude? How do I speak of this so that it's not totally directed at me or socially unacceptable? How do I say this without being a 'man' and avoiding any feminity. How do I write this without devulging every bit about my vulva or my vaginal problems? I can't... this is my blog and I'll write as I normally do. Every female has a vagina problem... I am just open to talk about it. Now, I don't want to discuss this problem in detail... it's not the problem that's the point - it's the funny affects it has. I always look at the humourous side of things.

Thursh.

THE ITCH!

Now if you're a woman, you're probably having a slight giggle now. You're all had it... you've all had the itch.

SCRATCH THE ITCH and it's 'aaaahhhhhhhhhhhh'

Wow wee, the itch can be bad sometimes. What's even worse is when you need a good damn scratch and you're surrounded by people or you're in a place or situation where you can't scratch.

Why is it that when men have an itchy ball, they openly move their hands down and have a good scratch, in view of everyone to see. It's socially accepted.

Now us woman have to secretly move our bum cheeks and legs to try and ease the itch or secretly bend down to 'pick up a pen' and as we rise quickly move our hand there and slightly scratch; or remove ourselves politely from the office meeting... run to the bathroom and have a case of 'mad-scratching'. But in our own 'space' (like driving a car) we have a quick scratch whilst staring at the person in the next car and smile, secretly thinking "If only you knew what I was doing."

Wish we, as woman, were like men. When there's an itch.. we just scratch. At least we don't then have to go through hours of the itch - to get to a a point of screaming - which leaves us resorting to rough scratching. Poor vagina.

The itch is a real bitch.

A new blog to follow

Once in a life time you come across an extraordinary person - a person who has overcome things you would never think you could.

A 3x cancer survivor, Eunice is a benchmark for strength and faith.

I recently met her and welcomed her to the world of blogging by helping her start her own blog - a blog where she could share her stories and help those going through the same thing.

I believe fate had something to do with our meeting. Currently my dad is also going through Cancer treatment. I took it hard, but through hearing her story I know all things are possible and that my dad has the strength to overcome his cancer.

To all my readers, go visit her blog http://3bsurvivor.blogspot.com/ - it is nothing less than inspring. Share her link with friends, spread the word of strength.

Bullshit sayings

As the saying goes 'things come in threes" - well being on my number 7, I'd pretty much say this statement is bullshit.

The saying "when it rains it pours' is not bullshit, it's true. When it rains, it fucken pours. In my situation, it 'snowed' even.

Chris and I have possibly had one of the worst weeks (7 days) ever, well since a long time. Let me list how many things have happened and how my strength has been tested. Bare in mind, this is over ONE WEEK.

NUMBER 1: Chris bumps his car into a small pole - aka - DENT
NUMBER 2: Chris's new phone breaks so had to take it in to be fixed and only God knows how long these slow pokes will take to fix it. Stupid cell phone shops.
NUMBER 3: Dontay, my puppy boxer and Sally, our sausage dog, attacks Betsie our pet chicken. Feathers everywhere. There I am trying to pull 2 dogs off this poor chicken. Needless to say, she lost many feathers and has a broken leg. We took her to the vet (NO - we did not kill and cook her) and she spent most of the week in the shower trying to heal. Poor thing.
NUMBER 4: House gets robbed and my laptop stolen. Put simply, FUCK. Our house will never feel safe again.
NUMBER 5: Giant tree 'somehow' falls down (with no wind and no storm) and breaks a large hole in the fence. "Come robbers, you now can walk freely onto our farm and carry the tv out."
NUMBER 6: Betsie dies. She got a respiratory illness. Didn't want to her suffer so we sadly put her down. Our farm will never be the same again.
NUMBER 7: Chris falls and breaks his perfect teeth. He now has a hole in the front, where the front tooth has been broken off. Poor babe, he hates looking like a hillbillie.

I just pray, on my knees, that God blesses us with a better week next week. May He keep us safe, may He protect all my animals, may He heal Chris's tooth and may He help with the insurance so that I can get my new laptop and can get back on track with work.

In God I trust.

Amen.

We got robbed

Fuck.

We got robbed.

I was out for an hour - the fuckers must have been watching me. Chris came home early, scared them and they fled - unable to finish us off.

My laptop was stolen. It is the worst thing you could steal from me. All my personal stuff, my Stace-Face business stuff, my work emails - EVERYTHING FUCK'EN GONE.

Thank God, I took a universal sign and got house hold insurance a month ago. How's that for listening to your gut!

Although I care about my stuff - what bothers me and scares the living crap out of me is that I don't want them to hurt my dogs or Chris and I.

Now I live in fear. When will this fear go away? When will I feel safe again?

What if they come back to finish us off? I keep watching the windows to see if they coming.

Fuck I hate not having a lap top. Can't work. Can't do general things.

Karma is a bitch.