Down and out

I'm in a dark place.

As I write this ball of water is rising out of my stomach, up my throat and is about to burst out of my eyes in a million tears.

For the past few days it's the usual:

Cry. Mood swing. Cry. Mood swing.

I seriously think I am battling depression. This dark cloud keeps hovering over me like a bad smell.

I feel lost. With no direction one doesn't want to put a step forward. So they just stand. In the same spot. For a long period of time.

There is no black or white in this hole. It's just grey.

I am lost in my life. I don't feel me.

I'm stressed as hell; sad as ever and feel like a drifting soul... a zombie that just walks.

I keep praying. I think of a positive thought and immediately it's murdered by a negative one.

I want to feel normal again.