Suffocation by cell phone

Grateful as I am to the new technology of today - providing me with applications on my phone that allow me to sms others free of charge. But is anything free? Everything comes with a price.

Yes, it's free but I'm paying the price of suffocation... death by cell phone.

I've just discovered the new 'Whatsapp' application - used for any phones. Unlike Blackberry's which only allow you to send bbms to other Blackberry holders.

Let me put you in the picture...

I have a Blackberry. So I have BBM's. Suffocation phase 1.
I have 2 email inboxes connected to my Blackberry. Suffocation phase 2 and 3.
I have people phoning me on my Blackberry. Suffocation phase 4.
I now have Whatsapp. Suffocation phase 5.

So that's 5 different beeps and rings. 5 different beeps and rings that go off constantly.

Cooking dinner. Beep. Check phone.
Sleeping at 3am. Beep. Check phone.
Watching TV. Beep. Check phone.
On the loo. Beep. Check phone.
Driving. Beep. Check phone.

My phone is suffocating my life. I have to constantly check it, write emails and smses and answer calls. I mean, with 24 hours in a day, I spend 23 hours on my phone. It's getting beyond annoying. I'm sick to death of hearing it go off.

This doesn't even include the suffocation of phones, whereby people update their whatsapp and bbm status's and display their entire lives on their phone, even to the extent of them taking a dump. This is called Invasive Suffocation. It's a disease.

Oh wait... what luck.. my phone has just beeped whilst writing this. Wait. Check phone. ..... ..... ..... ...... Okay back on. Oh shit, there it goes again... hold on.....
...
...
okay back again.

Do you see how these stupid things called cell phones - stop you from doing what you have to do. I may as well tape this phone to my head. It'll be a new trend!

USEFUL IDEA: Count how many times your phone rings or beeps in one day. This will indicate your level of suffocation.